The Legend of Fire Emblem
by LittleBlueNayru
Summary: Crackishness, born from SSBB and brought to you in the form of a slightly-AU-ish LoZ/FE crossover. Doing the best I can, so I hope you enjoy it! It's not really based off any particular games, but it's sort-of post-TP
1. Marth Falls into Hyrule Painfully

**Disclaimer: I'm only saying this once: I DON'T OWN LEGEND OF ZELDA OR FIRE EMBLEM!!!**

Ok, so credit for co-authoring this story (as in spouting ideas, giving me feedback, and encouraging me) goes out to **rasengirl13** and **jakebob13**. Bestest buddies Nayru could ever ask for. She loves you forever.

_Yeah, so for this story I screwed around with the worlds of Fire Emblem and Zelda to make it more exciting. Like, all the lands from the series are molded together into the worlds of Fire Emblem and Hyrule. For instance, this is post-TP, but I included Ritos. Don't like? Don't read. Don't flame. _

_So, the events from real games are **kind of completely irrelevant to this. **_This is MarthxZelda and there's nothing you can do about it, since it gets too crossover-y to put in the SSB section. I would have done that if I could have.

This was intended only for my two best friends. I wasn't even planning on posting this. If no one likes it or if no one says they like it, I'll delete it eventually.

Without further pointless ranting by this authoress, let the insanity begin!

* * *

Chapter One: When the Hell did that Toilet Become Magical?!

Ike was staying at his friend Marth's castle in Altea. The two were going to have a wonderful adventure. They would figure out what it would be once they got on the road.

Ike was busy polishing Ragnell, his divine sword. Marth was ready, except for one thing...

"Hey Ike, I'm gonna go take a shit before we leave."

Ike looked up, clearly exasperated. "Thanks for sharing. Why don't you invite me upstairs to watch while you're at it?"

"Sorry, sorry!" Marth held his hands up and went to heed nature's call.

What happened next, Marth swore he'd never tell anyone, ever. He was finished using the toilet when he fell in. However, it wasn't wet, because Marth found himself falling through a sort of vortex in a very....awkward way. It may have been vanity, but any worries about what was happening were pushed out of Marth's head until he had pulled his pants back up and nervously adjusted himself into a more princely position for falling through vortexes. He could see ground and what looked like stone coming closer and closer and closer and clos-

BOOM.

Marth crashed into a wide field, and rolled down a hill. He miraculously dodged bits of old stone in the ground that looked like they were from ruins, but as the hill became level ground, he skidded to a stop on a flat, intact piece of stone, otherwise unblemished unless he had left skid marks. If he didn't altogether ruin it. Bloody, bruised, broken, and various other adjectives beginning with _B_, the Altean prince fell unconscious from the tumble.

* * *

An hour later, Hyrule's two princesses, Zelda and Adlez, were walking around on the upper levels of the temple's ruins. Zelda, the firstborn, was a brunette with blue eyes. Her younger twin Adlez was a blonde with brown eyes. Someone in Castle Town had reported a crash, but so far the princesses' search for the source had proved fruitless.

Adlez was currently chattering to Zelda.

"So, Zelda, do you like Link?"

"Adlez, for Din's sake NO! How many times do I have to repeat myself?!"

"Fifty-three and a half...."

".....Whatever. Anyway, you know Link and Midna like each other."

Adlez wasn't looking at, or listening to, her older twin. She was staring at the ground far below them, at a stone slab that lay at the bottom of Hyrule Temple's ruins. Zelda was standing under a sort of archway and turned to Adlez when she failed to reply. "What, Adlez?"

"There's a bloody dude down there!" Adlez said, much too happily to fit her statement, yet she began jumping down the platforms to the ground. She stopped at the last one and waited for Zelda to catch up. Adlez pointed at the man.

"Down there! He's hurt!" She informed Zelda and the brunette landed beside her.

_No shit, Captain Obvious_, Zelda thought. All she said aloud was, "Who is he?"

* * *

"Down there! He's hurt!" A female voice called.

Marth stirred motionlessly, feeling aches and pains all over. At least someone had found him.

"Who is he?" he heard a second girl asking the first.

Marth had a very limited point of view, lying on his side, level with the ground, and being able to see out only one uninjured eye. Someone landed in front of him. The figure was wearing a purple-white dress. Behind the first, another figure landed, this one wearing a pink-white dress. He couldn't see higher than their knees, and that was when he craned to see.

The one in the purple-white dress knelt beside him. He caught a view of a purple top to the dress and purple-white gloved hands before the girl rolled him over onto his back as gently as she could. Then she looked down at him. She had _absolutely gorgeous_ shining blue eyes and brown hair, which had a warm, rich tone. Her eyes widened, and she gasped. Then she closed her mouth and winced, sucking in air through her teeth. "What the _hell_ happened?" She muttered, looking off to the right where her companion was. "Give him fairy tears or something!" she ordered.

Her friend could be heard muttering, "Damn, four freshly caught fairies and I have to heal some random guy..."

The brunette moved aside to let the girl in the pink dress heal him. She looked so much like the brunette that even confused as he was, Marth knew they were most likely sisters. However, Pinky had blonde hair, and warm brown eyes that had reddish undertones. Despite the irritation she had conveyed, she didn't seem all that annoyed; her face had a neutral expression.

The girl reached somewhere, and revealed a bottle. Through his one good eye, Marth saw a shining orb of pink-magenta light with wings, floating up and down in the bottle. This, he assumed, was a fairy, though he had never seen one before. The girl pulled off the bottle's stopper and held the neck downwards over his chest. The fairy, sensing freedom, floated out the opening. Sensing Marth's injured state, it flew over his chest and face, scattering shining dust, until it...vanished. He felt his ribcage repairing itself and his face becoming less painful. The blonde repeated the process with his broken arms and legs.

Fully cured and revitalized, Marth stood up to thank the two girls, who he immediately decided must be fraternal twins.

"Thank you, fair damsels," he said in his most princely-like tone. "I am Prince Marth and I," he grabbed the hilt of his sheathed sword, "am from," he unsheathed it, "FIRE EMBLEM!!!" He thrust his brilliant blade into the air, where the tip caught the sun's rays and sparkled.

The brunette smiled. _OH. MY.__ GODDESSES. SO HOT!!!!!!_

The blonde stared, expression neutral. _NO ANOTHER LUNATIC I'VE __ALREADY PUT UP WITH THE POSTMAN TODAY!!!_

The brunette grinned expectantly and said, "Well, Marth, we," she crouched a little bit, "are from Hyrule!" She spun in a circle, which would have been elegant except for the fact that a blue energy crystal had surrounded her and split outwards into shards as she spun. Marth was thrown back. "OW!!" he yelled. (Don't ask me why Zelda couldn't control her powers. For that one spell, that one time, she just couldn't.)

"Smooth, sis, way to win a guy. Assault him." Adlez whispered to Zelda. Zelda ignored her sister and ran over to Marth. "I'm sorry! Are you OK?" she cried. Adlez walked behind her and pulled the guy to his feet. "Sorry," she said to Marth, "my sister is excitable around guys she thinks are hot. My name is Adlez, and my sister apparently is Sorry."

The brunette had started losing patience when Adlez had said "hot guys", and now she yelled, "My name is ZELDA! _I'M_ the firstborn, _I_ get the Household name! The Family had to actually _THINK _of a name for you!"

The blonde responded quite calmly. "Well, Adlez _is_ an awesome name. It doesn't surprise me that you're so jealous that you tried to come up with a new name for yourself. At least you remembered that we live in Hyrule and not Holodrum or something."

At this, Zelda's remaining patience snapped in half and she began chasing Adlez around with balls of lightning magic in her hands. _Damn Adlez and her being-faster-than-me-ness!_ Zelda thought as she chased the blonde, never catching up. Marth just watched them nervously and scratched his head awkwardly.

When the magical twins calmed down, Marth asked them, "I was wondering, could you two help me find my way back to Fire Emblem?"

"No," Zelda said way too quickly. Marth and Adlez looked at her. _Damn_, Zelda thought, _I can't just say he's hot and that I want him to stay!_ Luckily, Zelda had a true excuse. "We don't know where Fire Emblem is. No one does, I think."

Adlez nodded, partially aware of Zelda's train of thought and sort of chipping in to help her. "The only know lands beyond Hyrule's mountains are Termina, Koholint, Holodrum, and Labrynna. Beyond that is sea. I don't think anyone who's gone on has come back."

But Zelda remembered something true. Link had sailed the Great Sea, but he had not mentioned a Fire Emblem. "Link has! Let's go find him!...Where is he anyway?"

"Probably warping all around Hyrule for the hell of it with Midna," Adlez said in an irritated tone, which surprised Zelda. "Let's just go home and wait for them to come back." Zelda, Adlez, and Marth left the ruins of Hyrule Temple, Adlez leading and Marth following with Zelda next to him. Zelda answered the questions Marth was asking with Adlez sometimes chipping in. As they approached the castle, they began telling Marth the history of Hyrule. Marth almost fell backwards at the huge entrance hall, at least three stories tall, with various balconies, doorways, hallways, stairways, and statues filling the huge cathedral-like room. The three had made themselves comfortable on a huge red sofa when, half and hour later, a soldier walked in and said, "Your Highnesses! Sir Link has returned with the Twilight Princess, Midna!"

Link and Midna entered the hall walking side by side, but Midna was arguing with Navi about something, again. Today it was about Redeads and the best way to destroy them. The moment Adlez saw Link, she started yelling and abusing the poor young Hylian with Din's Fire. "Link, you IDIOT! You never take me anywhere and we never kick Bulbin ass! IT'S NOT FAIR! I want to go places too! Finding hidden meaning to Triforce lore gets old when you do it all day, every day! EVEN WEEKENDS!"

Poor Link was singed in multiple places, and Adlez had given up on magic and was pounding the hero mercilessly.

"Adlez!" Link whimpered in pain, "I can't let you go into danger! You're a princess!"

Adlez screamed in frustration. "Midna's a fucking princess too! And I'm not exactly weak or defenseless! AND, I can always become Sheik!" the refined princess shouted. Zelda, Midna, and Navi were watching in amusement. Marth was cowering behind Zelda.

Link tried to pacify Adlez before she whipped out the Light Bow. "All right, Adlez! Next time Midna and I go traveling you can come too!"

Adlez clapped her hands and jumped up and down. "Yay!"

Zelda noticed Marth clutching her shoulders, cowering behind her. She internally thanked Adlez for this random spazzy moment. "It's alright, Marth! Adlez is just like that," Zelda said, trying to comfort the disturbed visitor.

"Who's Marth?" Link, Midna, and Navi looked to see Zelda conjuring water to dump over the head of a princely-looking guy who looked like he was in coma, except that his eyes were open and one lid was twitching.

Marth spent a few minutes recovering. Afterwards, Zelda led the way to a nice dining room, because the first thing that had come out of Marth's mouth was that he was hungry. Everyone sat at the table but Navi, who floated around Link's head. Only Marth ate. He felt awkward, but the Hyruleans said that they just ate later and they hadn't heavily injured themselves that day, so he shouldn't feel weird. Marth began recounting his tale:

"I am Marth, the Prince of Altea, from the land of Akaneia, in the world of Fire Emblem. My friend Ike and I were going to embark on an adventure. We were ready to go, so I went upstairs to get my sword and its sheath, when I fell through what could only be called a vortex. After landing in a field and having a less than enjoyable roll to the ruins, I met Zelda and Adlez, who helped me recover. As I am sure Ike is worried about me and anxious to get onto our journey, I must find a way home soon."

Zelda turned to Link. "If he fell through space a great distance, he might have come from beyond Hyrule's borders, from the Great Sea.. We were wondering if you had ever heard of Fire Emblem in your travels."

Link shook his head. "no one in the known inhabited islands has ever heard of it. But we can search for this land."

"Wait," said Midna, "If he fell through a _vortex_, then I think that even if we traveled the entire world, we would never find Fire Emblem. A vortex would be more likely to travel between dimensions, like Hyrule and Twilight. _Portals _warp you, not vortexes."

"So, how do we help? There is no mirror to Fire Emblem," Adlez said.

"First, we look throughout Hyrule's land and history for anything remotely connected to what we are trying to find. Then, we could try the rest of the land, but that is a daunting task. I suppose we could attempt to _create _a vortex..." Midna said.

"But so many things could go wrong!" Zelda said. "Will the portal exist like the Mirror? How do we _make _a vortex if it's even possible? If we managed to create one, would it be safe to use? Would it work? We don't even know why _this _vortex opened in the first place. In the worst case scenario, it would be Ganondorf's work."

"We can still search for a vortex, and, if one exists, find it," Midna said.

"Well, it's settled for me. Me and Midna...and Adlez," Link added as he got a death glare from Adlez, "will search Hyrule-country and Twilight."

Adlez had an idea. Leave Marth and Zelda alone together. Fun!

"Yay! Let's go!" said Adlez. Without waiting, she grabbed Link and Midna and almost dragged them out of the room by their arms. Navi flew out behind them.

"Wait!" Zelda called as the door slammed. "What about...us.....Great.... what are we supposed to do?"

Marth was thrilled that the Hyruleans were so open to helping him. "Well, if the vortex is still by the temple, we could examine it," he suggested. "And if it's not there, we could take care of the research while Link and Midna and Adlez look around Hyrule"

Neither knew it, but the prospect of working together, just the two of them, made both internally yell, _**YES!!!**_

As it was, Zelda smiled warmly and Marth. "Good idea. Alright then, to Hyrule Temple."

* * *

Well, what did you think? Like it? Think I suck? Screw you. Review, constructively criticize, just don't flame.

Yes, Adlez _is_ an OC. The only OC I'm including. Bear with it.

_And just a reminder from the beginning of the chapter, this is stupidity that really isn't based off any game in the series. Because, yes, I know, MarthxShiida, blah blah blah, but the inspiration for this story was random MarthxZelda-ness from **SSBB**_

Next time, we will see Adlez, Link, Midna, and Navi run all over Hyrule, and come face to face with someone presumed dead. Fun.

If you do not review, your stomach acid will turn into Diet Coke and anything you eat will turn into Mentos. :)


	2. The Misadventures of Hyrulean Heroes

Chapter Two! When we last left off, Adlez dragged Link and Midna out the door so they could explore Hyrule. Let's watch the fun!

I said the disclaimer, _I do not own Zelda or Fire Emblem. I own nothing I'm writing about. but Adlez. Yay._

Before I bore you to death talking about more stuff that doesn't matter, on with the show!

* * *

Misadventures in Hyrule

Adlez, Link, and Midna were standing outside the castle, looking at Link's map of Hyrule and planning out a route.

Let's see," Adlez said. "we need to check the southern forests, Ordon Village, the Gerudo fortress, Kakariko and Death Mountain, the Zoras, the Rito, the Twili, the Oocca, and Yeto. Wonderful. Just thinking about it makes me want to cut corners."

"Not to mention that we might end up going beyond the borders of Hyrule-country," said Link. He, Adlez, Midna, and Navi shuddered at the thought of dealing with Tingle, the Skull Kid, and the Happy Mask Salesman. They hoped that they wouldn't need to find Tatl and Tael.

"Well, just standing here won't get it done," said Midna. "Let's go see if the resistance will help, and then head out."

Link, Midna, and Adlez walked off the North Street heading for the South. However, the moment they entered the Central Square, Adlez was mobbed by soldiers and townsfolk, Midna by curious passersby, and Link by fangirls, making him regret ever walking into the STAR game. Adlez tried to ply through the crowd; finding no success, she turned to Link and Midna for help. However, both of them had vanished. His fangirls seemed just as confused as Navi and Adlez. Their disappearance was explained a moment later, as a woman came sprinting out of a side street screaming at the top of her lungs, followed by Link in wolf form. The citizens scattered, and Adlez laughed that the soldiers had left the princess against a beast alone.

Midna's voice came from Link's shadow. "Link told the cats about it. We'll never get enough help with this."

Adlez, Midna, Navi, and Link made their way quickly to Telma's Bar. Link changed again, and Midna and Navi waited outside, beginning to argue about potions.

"Ah, hello dear!" Telma said as Link walked in. "Greetings, Your Highness!" Telma curtsied to Adlez. Auru, Shad, Ashei, and Rusl all came up and greeted the two as well.

"Telma, do you have a sort of traveling cloak I can borrow?" Adlez asked. "I am too conspicuous to travel without drawing undue attention to myself."

"Sure thing, hun," Telma said, pulling a brown, hooded, full-body cloak out from a closet and tossing it to Adlez. "So, what's going on?"

Link and Adlez explained to the resistance about Marth and the vortex while Adlez put the cloak on. "And so," Link finished, "we're going to need you to tell us if you see anything _way_ out of the ordinary in Hyrule-country."

"Can do, dear," Telma said.

"I will go to Ordon for you," Rusl volunteered.

"Consider Lake Hylia taken care of," Auru said.

"I can alert everyone in and around Kakariko," Shad said.

"Looks like I'm going back to Snowpeak," Ashei said evenly.

"Thank you, everyone," Adlez said, curtsying. She and Link walked out.

Midna stopped them on the way out. "Link, I'm going to hide in your shadow to avoid attention because of my skin col_ors._ If possible, we should warp."

"Then the Sacred Grove first," Link said.

With Midna's help, the four became Twilight mass, floating into the sky.

The four landed in the deserted Ordon Spring. Midna transformed Link again but remained in his shadow. Then Adlez spoke to Link's shadow, which looked odd even though her company knew what she was doing was actually perfectly sane. "Midna, I think I got the hang of warping! Sweeeeet."

Link nodded. "I'm getting better at learning what it takes to transform at will."

Midna popped up as a shadow. "You're all learning Twilight magic better, just as you are teaching me light magic. But we should go tell the Great Deku Tree about what's happening. Then maybe we won't have to tell the spirits and the Sages."

This agreed on, Adlez and Link ran through the Lost Woods until they sped right into the Kokiri Forest. With the help of a few happy Kokiri, they soon stood in front of the Great Deku Tree.

"Link, you're not so young anymore," the Tree chuckled. "How have you been?"

"Good, but something has happened. Some prince from another world fell through a vortex to Hyrule. We don't know why, but if it's Ganondorf, it's trouble."

"I will guard this forest, Link. You need not worry about the children of the forest so long as I am alive."

"Thank you, Great Deku Tree!" Navi said. "Alright guys, let's go to the Zora's Domain!"

Link, Midna, and Adlez walked off to the exit of the Kokiri Forest to find a good place to warp. However, had they looked behind them, they would have seen a black Deku Sprout, who glared after the travelers with malice leaking out of its glowing red eyes.

* * *

After an unceremonious splash into the throne room of Zora's Domain, Link went behind a pillar to transform.

"MR. LINK!!!!!!"

"No! The postman!" Link groaned as he emerged a human.

"How'd he manage to get up _here _with that ridiculous backpack of his?" Adlez asked. Midna, in her shadow form, shrugged before diving back into Link's shadow.

The postman ran up to them. After a moment of extremely graceful panting, the postman stood up straight. "I have a letter for you, Mr. Link!" the postman announced.

_Really, now?_ Link thought sarcastically. "Four letters, in fact!" The postman handed Link the letters. "Now, ONWARD TO MAIL!!!" The postman skipped out of the throne room and vanished.

Four disturbed victims of Hyrule's postal service blinked and looked after him with twitchy eyes and sweaty brows. "I _knew_ he was gay," Adlez muttered, breaking the awkward silence.

"Do you think a future gay postman was born?" Link asked.

"For all of Hyrule, I hope not," Midna said Link. "What do the letters say?"

All four were from the resistance, telling Link that they had each arrived at their destinations. Now it was unnecessary to go to Kakariko.

The travelers walked up to Ralis' throne. Adlez bowed to Ralis, and he returned to gesture. Then he spoke. "Welcome, Princess, to Zora's Domain. If you require assistance, we will be glad to help you."

"Well, I don't know if anything is going to happen. Something already has, but it isn't much compared to Ganondorf," Adlez said.

"What happened?"

A prince from another world fell through a vortex," Adlez explained simply. All we ask is that if anything else strange goes on here, let us know."

Ralis nodded. "That is something we will certainly do."

With the travelers' objective in Zora's Domain complete, Adlez swam down the waterfall, screaming, "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Link and Midna splashed into the city right next to her. They spent a while splashing each other and diving. Eventually, they just started basking on the surface of the water.

"Crap," Adlez said. "We still need to tell Yeto. This will not be fun."

"That's better than I thought," Midna said. "I thought you were going to say something like 'I left the castle doors open'. It would be so typical of you."

Adlez resumed splashing Midna.

The three swam to the edge of the Zora city at the base of the waterfall and climbed up onto dry land at the entrance to Snowpeak. The little group walked into the cavern discreetly. Adlez immediately began commenting on Snowpeak as they entered the barren blizzard-battered wasteland.

"It's still pretty," Adlez said indignantly.

"Whatever. At least we can warp now," Midna said, and without further ado, four clusters of Twilight particles vanished into the sky.

Midna landed on Link at the top of Snowpeak, followed by Adlez on top of Midna. Wolf Link started barking even as he and Midna returned him to human form. "Ow, ow, OW," he said in muffled tones from the bottom of the pile. Adlez and Midna got off him as Link went. "OW. OOH. EEH. OW."

Even with all the noise they had made, the yetis still hadn't heard them arrive. Link, Midna and Adlez walked up to Yeto, who had yet another reekfish in his hand.

"LONG TIME, UH!" he said, crushing them in a hug, fish flopping wildly. "YOU COME LONG WAY, UH. WANT TO RACE, UH?!"

"Um....suuuurrreee," Link said.

Yeto walked over to the tree with icy leaves and punched it with much more force than was needed. Two sleds fell from the tree.

"Hey, thanks," Link said kindly, just before Yeto tossed the sled to him with too much strength. "AAAAOOOOOWWWW."

"How do we get down?" Midna asked.

Yeta walked up to them. "You ride on back, uh. Fun, uh!"

Adlez raised her eyebrow and stared at her uncertainly. Midna, extremely against that idea, dived into Link's shadow, not caring whether or not the yetis questioned her absence. Adlez looked like she was going to faint.

Eventually, Adlez got on Yeta's back. Link, Yeta, and Yeto all lined up to race.

"READY, SET, GO, UH!" Yeto roared.

They were off. Adlez screamed as Yeta went over a jump and continually shrieked as Yeta swerved through the trees. So far, Yeta was in front, though how she managed to ignore Adlez's choke hold around her neck and her screams was amazing. Link leaned down to reduce drag and went off several jumps. He was barely in front of Yeta, with Yeto wobbling down the mountain in third. Yeta and Link were close. It all depended on who reached that really freaky thin cliff first. As Adlez saw what was coming up, she screamed again, much louder, which startled Yeta for a moment, enough for Link to push himself ahead of her. The two sped out onto the little ramp, Yeto now barely in sight on the much safer path to the house. Adlez thought she had a heart attack as Yeta went over the jump on the pass.

Finally, the race was over. Link flipped off his sled as it broke apart. When Yeta arrived at the manor, she stood up, saying, "Fun, uh! Good race!" Adlez fell off her back limply and fell into the snow face up, looking rather pale.

Yeto finally arrived from his longer and safer route and skidded to a stop. "Good race! You worthy sledder, uh!" Then he noticed Adlez staring up into the snowing sky blankly. "FRIEND NOT WELL, UH!" He picked up Adlez, which didn't really help, and carried her in, with Link and Yeta behind him.

Adlez spent the next hour recovering in front of a fire with Superb Soup lots of it. In fact, she seemed to really like it and kept on saying in a really weird voice. "Cheese? Cheese?" which made Link laugh.

After Adlez spent half an hour assuring the yetis she was fine, and Link told Yeto to tell him about anything weird, Link and Adlez walked out of Snowpeak Manor, grateful that the visit was over.

"I'm _never_ doing that again." Adlez said. Then she looked down at Link's shadow where Midna hid. "Cheater getting out of it and leaving me to suffer alone." Then she looked at Navi, floating innocently around Link's head. "Cheater with wings."

Midna came out of Link's shadow. "Hey, what can I say? Anyway, let's get the Oocca over with too, and then the Gerudo desert."

Link groaned at the prospect of returning to the City in the Sky. Adlez began to fake cry at the prospect of cannons. Midna wasn't putting up with it, and she warped them to Lake Hylia before they had the chance to complain.

Link took his time walking up to the cannon. When they reached it, Adlez looked up at the stone menace warily and Link mournfully. Midna dove into Link's shadow and Navi flew up into the base, yelling, "Just get it over with!"

Link held Adlez's hand and sent out the clawshot, dragging both of them into it. The cannon shuddered, tilted, and finally shot them into the heavens, Link's shouts and Adlez's screams lost behind them.

After what seemed like an eternity, they finally began falling. Of course, the two were still yelling as they splashed into the pool of water at the entrance to the city. Adlez swan to the side so she could sit down and restart her heart.

Midna jumped out of Link's shadow and joined Adlez. "Oh. My. God. Do you know how scary it is to be in someone's shadow being launched super fast into the sky, and then there is no shadow, and then you are in some sort of shadow-limbo until landing? It's not fun," Midna said shakily.

Suddenly, Ooccoo burst out of the shop with her freaky head of a son following her.

"My! It looks like you've returned to the Sky City, adventurer!" Ooccoo said.

"_Really_ now?" Link said shakily and sarcastically.

"Why, yes!" said Ooccoo, oblivious to Link's irritation. "You must have missed us so terribly much, having assisted you on your adventures and all!" Link let that one pass without comment. "And you brought two friends! Marvelous! I bet they were just dying to see us after you told them about our adventures!"

"_Literally!_" Adlez said, just as happy about this as Link, still thinking about cannons.

"We just _had_ to see this place!" Midna said, not even bothering to disguise her sarcasm.

"Ooccoo," Link said very seriously. "Something strange is going on down on Earth. If anyone you haven't met falls down from nowhere in the sky, send them down to Hyrule Castle, ok?"

"Certainly, certainly," Ooccoo said. "Now come! You must see the rest of the temple, young adventurers!"

"You know what? I think we'll just go now," Link said, grabbing Adlez and Midna and jumping over the walls, hoping to land in Lake Hylia.

Suddenly, the three reappeared back by the pool. "WHAT THE FUCK?" Link yelped.

"You can't do that," Ooccoo said dangerously. Link, Midna, and Adlez, not knowing how the hell Ooccoo did that and noticing her very creepy demeanor, decided not to make a break for it again.

Suddenly, an army of the creepy Oocca birds was surrounding them, making those weird singing-clucking noises, talking to them in Sky Language before finally getting it through their heads that the Hylians spoke Hylian, and then pestering them left, right, and center to see this, or do that, if would they like this or that. Pieces of Link's, Adlez's, and Midna's sanity could almost be heard crumbling apart as they searched in vain for a weak point in the crowd of Oocca where they could make their suicidal escape.

Finally, their tour was over, at the field where Link had battled Argorok. Of course, the Oocca bade the Hyruleans to visit again soon, and with much more clucking, the annoyed earth-dwellers had escaped through the portal.

The three never thought they'd be so glad to see the cannon in all their lives, and Navi's screams of, "Hurry!" weren't necessary to make them listen. They could already see Oocca running out the front doors, making war-cluckings at the visitors, which sounded dangerously inviting, as if asking them to go on another tour.

Midna dived into Link's shadow without second thoughts, and Adlez screamed at Link to hurry up while he got his hookshot out.

Midna was grateful for shadow limbo.

Adlez's screams were insane screams of an jail escapee's.

Link yelled in joy of freedom.

* * *

"I am so _hot_."

Link was panting and lagging behind Aldez, who was leading the group and talking to Navi. It was unbelievable that with her dark cloak on, she wasn't suffering from heat stroke or even just feeling hot. But no. With a normal complexion and no sweat, she calmly told them that she felt "comfortable." Then, she began running across the dunes, completely uninhibited by the inhibiting surface, as Link struggled to run at his normal speed behind her, yelling something about her "cheating her way to victory". Midna, Navi, Link, and Adlez were all grateful that Nabooru wasn't at the Desert Colossus, as it would have meant that much further to travel. All four happily entered the Gerudo Fortress and told their story, which was getting old. The Gerudos assured the four that they would help in any way possible. With the sun setting on a tiring day, it was not long before Midna requested if they could stay there for the night.

"Of course," Nabooru said. She led the way to some spare bunks. "Here you are...oh! Heheh..." The word "you" was barely out of her mouth, and all four had collapsed on the beds and were out for the night.

A steep gorge ran through the Gerudo Desert, a continuation of the Zora River after Lake Hylia, which was known as the Gerudo Gorge. The cataracts were large, fierce, and swift, but the Gerudo had learned to travel along the river truly and navigate all the way through the gorge down to the sea.

Nabooru and two other Gerudo were going to help the four down the gorge to the small country called Koholint. The ride had been rough but fun, except for the first hour. Adlez, having slept soundly and eaten a good breakfast, had been waving her arms all around over her head, yelling, "WHOOOOOO!!!!! HANG TEN!!!!!!!!!" She had been very excited due to Link recounting his trips down the Zora river, and she was ready to raft, cloak on and everything, sugar almost spilling out of her system. "DO THE WAVE, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

When her voice had finally grown hoarse, Link and Midna had sighed in relief. Nabooru had giggled. The other two Gerudo weren't important enough to have names, so they didn't have personalities either, and didn't react at all.

The splash into Great Bay was very fun. Termina looked even more fun. Hyruleans generally associated "not Hyrule" with "ghetto," but the expectation of a shabby town full of fugitives and islanders was not met. They were dead wrong.

A canal stretched underground back to Hyrule, with lanterns every five feet. The town was lively, and the citizens Hylians, humans, Gerudo, Kokiri, Gorons, Zoras, Ritos, Shiekah, and many more! There were even some of Termina's famous talking animals there. Everyone mingled together blissfully along the shore town, and the well-tamed sea shone beautifully with the sun.

"So much for being a ghetto," Adlez said as Link whistled.

People began to notice the travelers and came from the harbor and the town to greet them. A red door with a gold leaf opened, and a man in red robes with a ridiculous orange mustache came out. He stood before the group and shook Nabooru's hand. "Greetings, travelers, I am the mayor of Windfall Town in Termina. What can I do for you this fine day?"

Adlez curtsied. "I am Adlez Luna Hyrule," she said, ignoring gasps from the crowd and the collective bow. "We have come to ask a favor of Termia."

"What might that be, Princess?" the mayor asked with his head inclined.

Adlez told the crowd about Marth. "We ask for you to be vigilant of any danger this poses, and to inform Hyrule of any strange occurrences. If you know anything about vortexes, portals, and whatnot, we would like to know so Prince Marth can return home."

The mayor said, "Actually, something strange _has_ happened. Many islanders have recently moved here. Jabun warned them to leave their homes, and as they did, a neverending cyclone struck.

"Oh dear," Adlez said. "Zelda needs to know."

One of the Rito stepped forward. "I'm fast, I'll tell her."

"Thank you very much. And please tell your chieftain about what we have discussed," Adlez said.

The Rito bowed and flew off. Suddenly, Navi flew out of the forest, having gone in unnoticed by anyone. A yellow and purple light followed her.

"Link! Look! It's Tatl and Tael! And they're coming with us!"

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!" Adlez yelled. Everyone looked at her. Adlez stared back. "What?"

"Adlez, you're too hyper," Link informed her.

"Well, you're too..._green!_...and...serious...and quiet!"

"Stop it, guys," said Midna, cutting the argument and glaring contest short. In a whisper, she said, "We need to find a place to warp."

"Let's just go into the Fairy Forest," Link whispered. They quickly excused themselves and walked away. Once they were a considerable distance in, Link said, "Alright, to Castle Town!"

"Wait," Midna said. "Let's go to Kakariko. Since it's post-game, people will be traveling now."

"Oh, right. Damn post-game-ness!"

"Uh, sure...."

* * *

Link was really beginning to hate the idiots in Kakariko. The people ran and screamed. If you're running from a "monster," you don't scream and give away your hiding place! The Gorons rolled up and pretended they were rocks...well, they were rocks...but STILL! And the chickens! DAMN they were annoying, running all around saying stupid rhymes and all, acting all, "I'm stuck up because I'm a chicken"!

At least Kakariko wasn't big. Link walked through town, Midna riding him as usual, with Adlez following on Epona with three fairies to deal with. They decided to enter Castle Town from the east entrance, to be inconspicuous. Link tried to act all awesome and heroic and burst out into Hyrule Field, sprinting on wolf speed, looking valiant in the rays of the setting sun. His moment was not destined to last, however.

Lots of arrows were suddenly raining down on him, and he yelped in shock. Adlez rode out behind him, pulling bomb after bomb out of the bomb bag, and throwing them at the attackers. Link made a mental note to yell at Adlez for stealing his bomb bag and playing with the homemade pyrotechnics, even though it did cause several of the boar-riding Bulbins to fly away...in pieces, serenaded by Adlez's slightly insane cackle. A mad circle chase ensued on Hyrule's Eldin field; Link, running in front of and behind boars, trying to attack the ones in front and evade the ones behind, as well as dodging stray bombs; Adlez, doing her best to kill the Bulbins with bombs and arrows; and the Bulbins, trying to defeat their enemy while staying alive, a losing battle in itself. It was kind of fun, but overall just annoying and tiring. Midna eventually yelled, "Run for the bridge!"

Adlez yelled, "OKAY!" and Link barked. He started veering off to what was now his right.

Of course, OF COURSE there was a Bulbin with a horn. One of the Bulbins chasing Adlez blew it. The other Bulbin sharing the boar yelped, and grunted something that sounded like, "Fuck you, now I'm fucking deaf, you little fucker!" The horn-Bulbin shrieked and hit his partner over the head with the horn. The deaf Bulbin shrieked back. Neither noticed that the boar they were steering was on a collision course with the cliff. Adlez, thinking the whole thing quite funny, started laughing. The Bulbins were distracted from their distraction by the noise, and remembered what they were trying to do. The Bulbin that wasn't holding the horn pulled out a bow and arrow, and lit the arrow on fire.

"Oh SHIT! Link, Midna, look out!" Adlez yelled.

The Bulbin let the burning arrow fly.

Adlez just managed to steer Epona out of the way. Navi almost died from the shot before flying out of the way, yelling, "Watch out!"

Link turned around right as he reached the bridge. Seeing the arrow targeting his brain, he jumped and flipped off to the side, almost falling into the gorge. Midna, who had leaped off him as he jumped, grabbed his desperate paws sliding over the edge of the cliff.

The arrow, though missing the heroes, hit its original target. The bridge.

The wooden bridge began burning easily, fragments of wood falling into the Zora gorge far below.

Wolf Link took in the sight of the burning bridge with neutral eyes.

Feeling as though they had accomplished enough, the Bulbins abruptly steered their boars away from the group, through the field, and across the Bridge of Eldin into the Lanayru-Eldin Pass. Link suddenly transformed into a human.

You BASTARDS!!!!!!!!" he screamed. "I SPENT ONE THOUSAND FUCKING RUPEES ON THAT GODDESSES-DAMNED BRIDGE!!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO YOU IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN?!?!?!? ****************************************************************!!!!!!"

The lead Bulbin simply made a fart out the horn, and the battalion disappeared.

"Oh my..." said Midna. "Link, how did you transform without my help?"

The red-faced Hylian was barely distracted. "Let's worry about that later."

Adlez hadn't been paying attention. If her eyes didn't deceive her, the Bridge wasn't empty. "Um, guys, I think there's someone on the Bridge..."

There was. Someone was standing in the shadows under the Lanayru arch. Adlez squeezed Epona's sides, who, with a neigh, began charging off towards the Bridge. An irate Link ran after her, yelling about danger and recklessness and kumquats. Midna took pity on the Hylian and floated over to him in a cloud of bubbles, picking him up along the way and flying after Adlez.

The moment Epona sprinted onto the Bridge, the figure raised a black gloved hand. Golden barriers sprung up at the ends of the Bridge. Epona reared in fright. Link and Midna almost collided with the wall, but Midna used her magic and aimed a push at the ground, which launched them over the archway. The two landed on their feet like Sheikah as Adlez slowly dismounted. Link drew his sword and got into a fighting stance, pissed as could be and not about to take any crap from anyone.

Footsteps were heard in the shadows. Out emerged a man: gray hair, red eyes, black skin. Dark Link stood under the arch on the Lanayru side of the Bridge. The four heroes were wary of this resurrected warrior, and stiffened at his appearance. The pseudo-hero pulled something out of his pocket. The Fierce Deity Mask.

Adlez's worried groan pierced the silence. "Aw, fuck..."

* * *

Ooh. Cliffie. I'm so mean.

Like it more? Glad you gave me a shot? Or have I just convinced you that I am off my rocker? I don't care. I don't have a rocker any more. It was donated to charity. However, I _do _have over 75 marbles...

Next time, we will leave Adlez, Link, Navi, Midna, and Dark Link, and be trapped in a state of suspense while we zoom back in on Marth and Zelda, as this authoress attempts to throw a little MarthxZelda into her story.

If you do not review, your tongue will turn into a flower that smells worse than the rotting corpse flower of Southern Asia.


	3. Fluff with Marth and Zelda

Here it is! I present to you the third chapter of the pandemonium known as The Legend of Fire Emblem! Last time, Adlez, Midna, Navi, and Link travelled all over Hyrule, had some really stupid mini-adventures, and ran into Dark Link on the Bridge of Eldin. OMFG. This time, we will see what Marth and Zelda were doing during that time.

Now, to clear up any final confusion, I will tell you a little story:

Once upon a time in the modern day, there were three best friends. One was called "Din" (not really, but im not saying our real names) one was "Nayru" *cough me* and one was "Farore". These friends loved to play video games, not the least of which was Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Since both Din and Nayru liked to be Zelda, Din played as the original Zelda and Nayru played as the blonde Zelda, cleverly named "Adlez" by Farore. they also often played a little skit, it which Farore, and Marth, fell from the sky and fell in love with Zelda. They went out on many dates and Adlez... well, that comes later.

So, though this is post all the games, that fact as little to no relevance in the story. Are we on the same page now?

Good. Now before I go on some other long rant concerning why this is practically AU, let the chapter begin!

* * *

The Fluffy Adventures of Marth and Zelda

Marth and Zelda were left alone in the throne room, staring at the door where a very eager Adlez almost bounced through the roof in her excitement to explore Hyrule. The shock of her, and Midna's and Link's and Navi's, sudden departure dazed the two for a moment, until the town became quite lively.

The citizens had been excited ever since the repairs on Hyrule Castle had been completed, but this was noisier than usual. Zelda, guessing it was Adlez, led the way to a balcony on the second floor with a good view of town. A confused Marth followed her.

What Zelda saw made her sigh in exasperation. Link had been mobbed by fangirls, Adlez by soldiers and townspeople. Midna had wisely dived into Link's shadow, and Zelda knew Adlez was wishing she could do that as well. Speaking of which, where had Link gone? Zelda had only spared a moment to pity her younger twin, and the hero had completely vanished. His clothes were hard to miss. Zelda saw a mob of confused fangirls, and judging by Marth's scanning of the crowd, he couldn't find Link either.

Suddenly, a woman came barreling out a side street, screaming at the top of her lungs. A big dog followed her out, barking wildly. Midna was riding its back.

The crowd snapped, and within ten seconds, everyone in the square had sprinted down a street, hoping to flee from the big animal.

Marth hadn't realized that he had uncertainly grabbed his sheathed sword until he heard Zelda's quiet laughter next to him. Tentatively, he released his grip on the hilt and followed her gaze down to her sister, who was laughing in the square along with Midna. The wolf was panting, tongue lolling out the side of its mouth in a happy expression. This confused Marth. Wasn't the wolf putting her sister in danger?

"Aren't you worried the wolf will hurt them?" he asked Zelda, confused.

"That's not a true wolf. That's Link in his wolf form, playing the hero as usual. Only this time, the Princess needed to be saved from a mob!"

Marth overlooked the humor. "That's Link?" _Is he one of those Laguz people of Tellius Ike spoke of?_

"That's Link's twilight form," Zelda said with an affirmative nod. "Ever since the Twilight Curtain covered Hyrule two years ago, he's been able to transform into a wolf. He can almost do it without Midna's help now."

"What happened two years ago?" Marth asked.

"It's a long story, so I'll try to shorten it. Midna's throne in the Twilight Realm had been usurped by Zant, an evil Twili, who was using powers granted to him by Ganondorf, the King of Evil. Zant cursed Midna, banished her from her own realm, and spread Twilight over Hyrule. Zant threatened to kill my people if I didn't surrender, so I did. My sister and I were imprisoned in a castle tower. Link and Midna were searching for a powerful magical relic of Midna's tribe: the Fused Shadows. However, once they had them, Zant cursed Midna again and locked Link in wolf form. My sister and I healed Midna with our light magic, and gave our spirits to her. Our bodies were as dead, while we lived in her mind. Midna and Link traveled very far to save us and the two worlds. After Ganondorf possessed us, Midna exorcised our bodies and we returned to them. As a foursome, we battled Ganondorf twice more, and when Ganondorf finally died, Midna was released from her cursed form. With Ganondorf and Zant dead, the Twili are peaceful with us, Link can shape-shift, and Adlez has wanted to have an adventure ever since."

Marth took in Zelda's speech with awed eyes. "Wow..."

"Indeed," Zelda replied. "Oh look, there they go!" she suddenly exclaimed, pointing at a group of black particles fast disappearing into the sky.

"What...?"

"Oh... that's what happens when Midna warps us," Zelda informed Marth.

"...Oh..."

"Well, I suppose we should head for the temple before the villagers regain their guts and come back outside," Zelda said, grabbing a red, hooded cloak and wrapping it around her. She tossed a similar blue one to Marth. "Let's go find your vortex," she said.

Marth stared at Zelda's cloaked form for a second before following her out the door. _She looks cute in red_, he thought as he jogged up to her side.

Cloaks that cover all of a person except for the lower half of faces don't really repel attention, but people were still wary of wild animals roaming about. Poor skinny Jovani unintentionally helped the two go through town unnoticed; Link, having informed the cats of the goings-on in Hyrule, had caused the cats and dogs of the town to want to help in any possible way. When they saw the Princess coming with her guest, Gengle rounded up the cats, who began chasing Jovani around the Town as if they were possessed, and the people resumed avoiding the streets.

Zelda and Marth took the west road out of town and walked across Hyrule Field. The ruins of Hyrule Temple were across Castle Town's west field at the bottom of a hill. This was the first Temple of Time, the haven against Ganondorf's onslaught in the Imprisoning War. However, time and neglect had caused the old Temple to crumble, and a new one was built deep within the woods of Faron. The old temple was left as it was as a tribute to its past.

The Hylian princess and Altean prince came upon the crumbling stones and walked in between them side by side, looking in all directions for a vortex. Marth looked up into the sky, trying to retrace his painful path down the hill. All he could make of his trail was the burned portion of a flat slab of stone at the bottom, where he had skidded to a stop.

Marth was telling Zelda about Fire Emblem, and how wars always seemed to break out on the continents. He remembered his defeat of Medeus, and of Ike's defeat of Ashnard...

Ike. Marth had avoided thinking or talking about him, in case it turned out that he couldn't go back home. Marth realized it hadn't been half a day since his arrival in Hyrule, but he still missed his friend. Ike was probably knocking on the door asking if he had constipation. Hell, he was probably going through Marth's room, just because he could.

Half and hour of searching for anything turned into an hour, and one hour into two. The brilliant colors of sunset shone over Hyrule. Zelda was smiling into the dusky glow with her eyes closed. Marth thought she looked quite beautiful like that.

He started slightly when Zelda began to speak, as if she had heard his approach. "I understand why Midna loves the Twilight," Zelda muttered, a small smile playing in her face.

Marth looked to the west. "It makes me feel...sort of...sad."

Zelda opened her eyes and turned to Marth, a serene smile playing on her face as she started walking back to Hyrule Castle. "Lonely, bittersweet, and beautiful."

"In an odd way, that was pretty deep," Marth said. He had really wanted to say, _like you_, but he lost his nerve at the last moment. However, it was wise of her to say.

In content silence they walked together all the way back. Marth hadn't noticed he'd been holding Zelda's hand until she let go, but it barely fazed him.

Supper that evening was quiet without Adlez, Link, Midna, and Navi, not to mention the slightest bit awkward, the two of them sitting silently at the huge table. Afterwards, Zelda gave Marth a thorough tour of Hyrule Castle and showed him a guest room where he could stay. Marth relaxed there a while, eating all the snacks the guards brought up. Eventually, Marth got bored of that, and went to find Zelda, who had gone to the library to research.

Twelve wrong turns, four staircases, and fifteen inquiries for directions later, Marth walked into a very large room with lots and lots and lots of books. It had a high ceiling and ten large stained glass windows. They seemed to be showing different people, the middle one being very colorful, and the first three to either side having a theme of one color out of the rainbow. Two pictures at the ends of the color-schemed ones showed identical pictures, which was of the triple-triangle symbol Marth saw often around the Castle. The last one was a picture of Link, Zelda, Adlez, and Midna, with Navi floating over Link's head. Link had his sword raised, and it glittered in the light. Midna was floating in the air in front of Link, reclining in empty air and playing with floating black squares with her hand. Adlez was in a blue dress on the left, picture-Link's right. She was smiling broadly, and had formed a ball of water with her hands. Zelda was behind Link and Adlez, also smiling, looping an arm around Link's and Adlez's shoulders. However, no light shone through them, as it was nighttime. There were five statues of knights around the side of the huge room as well.

A poster caught Marth's attention, and he walked across the library to see it. It appeared to be a map, though the language was illegible to him. A red circle had been drawn near the center of the map, so Marth assumed it was a map of Hyrule and a mark for the Castle. He saw some other things decorating the map, but could not identify them with their Hylian labels. Mountains completely surrounded Hyrule, but their were vaguely marked lands to the north, east, south, and west, as well as a vague indication of a land to the northeast.

Then Marth saw Zelda reading intently at a table about ten feet away. "Hey, Zelda," he said. Zelda started. "Goddesses, Marth, don't scare me like that," she said somewhat shakily, "I was concentrating."

"Sorry," Marth said as she walked over. "What are these lands surrounding Hyrule? I got the impression that Hyrule was the only known land."

"Oh it's not," Zelda said. She brought up her hand to point at locations on the map. "This is the Gerudo Desert," she said, circling an area to the left of the castle. "And this up here is Snowpeak," she added, circling a mountain chain above the circle and slightly to the left. Then she indicated the label west of the Desert. "This is Termina. East of Eldin province is Koholint, North of the Lanayru province, where we are now, is Holodrum, and South of the Ordon province, Link's home, is the land of Labrynna. We know that there is a land northeast of here known as New Hyrule, and it is well populated along with this Hyrule, but no one really travels in between them. All of the nations are peaceable with each other, but not much communication goes on. I sent five of Hyrule's Rito postmen to tell the leaders of the nations about you, Marth."

Marth felt odd about being made such a big deal out of, but he said nothing, simply nodding during Zelda's pause.

"Link and Midna and Adlez will search Hyrule to the best of their abilities," she continued reassuringly. "All we can do now is research."

"Have you found anything?" Marth asked curiously.

"Not yet. I had to redefine vortex to fit the description, and also because there are so many portals, which are similar to them. All I've found anything remotely close to a vortex are the Twilight Mirror and Dark Mirror."

"What are the portals?"

"Oh there are tons of portals, too many to name off the top of my head."

"Um...alright..."

Suddenly, the clock chimed twelve. "Wow, it got late," Zelda said with a yawn. "I'll see you in the morning, Marth."

Marth woke up at eight in the morning to a Cucco right next to him, clucking its brains out. His morning reflexes were not quick enough to grab the chicken and wring its neck, and Marth left the room with the cackling clucker making a ruckus behind him.

He had a quick breakfast and then went to find Zelda. He guessed she would be in the library, and with only three wrong turns, he found his way there. His guess was right, as Zelda sat diligently working on her research. She looked up as she heard him enter. "You're an early riser," he remarked.

Zelda smiled. "Good morning, Marth."

"Good morning. How's it going?"

"Still nothing," she said. "I'm wondering just how this vortex was created, and why. You can speak Hylian, or at least understand it, but not read it. It's strange. I wonder if you were sent by the Goddesses....Anyway, I was going to speak to Rauru today."

"Who's Rauru?" Marth asked.

"He is the Sage of Light, who resides in the Temple of Light in the Sacred Realm. The Entrance is in the Old Temple of Time, which is in the Sacred Grove in the Faron province," Zelda replied.

"I would like to come along," Marth said.

"Alright," Zelda said. She got up and beckoned for Marth to follow her. As they walked, she asked, "Have you ever warped, or done anything remotely similar to your vortex, before?"

"No," said Marth.

"Well, you'd best hold on tight when we warp. And stay close to me in the Grove; Link would have been hopelessly lost if not for the Last Skull Kid."

Zelda stopped at a dead end in the courtyard, completely surrounded by castle with only one exit and one window. She walked into the middle and concentrated. Zelda spun her arms in a windmill motion, and then with a powerful "Ha!" threw them into the air. Two columns of green light surrounded her, the inner one a lighter green that the outside. Zelda closed her eyes and muttered for a moment in a language Marth didn't understand, and then the spiraling forces slowly receded into the ground. When the last bit of the magic's light drained away, she opened her eyes.

"Um, I couldn't understand anything you said," Marth said.

"I was speaking in Old Hylian to cast a spell," Zelda explained. "I was using Farore's Wind to create a Warp Point so we can return here immediately after we visit the Grove. Now, come here and hold onto me. We're warping to the Sacred Grove." Marth walked over and held on to her arm, and Zelda smiled as she put the Ocarina of Time to her lips and played the Prelude of Light. The royal duet floated skyward in a shower of golden sparkles.

Silence filled the Sacred Grove. One could imagine the echo of Saria's song playing through the trees from the Sacred Forest Meadow. The lone Skull Kid in the place seemed to have vanished, and puppets attacked no longer. The tranquil green forest was a magnificent sight to behold.

A shower of gold sparkles rained upon a plinth in the center of some ruins in a hidden part of the grove. With a bright flash of light, the shower faded and Zelda and Marth appeared on the Triforce symbol.

The two looked around the sunlit glade, rays of light streaming through openings in the trees, illuminated by lazy dust particles in the air. Zelda walked around, looking for the entrance to the Temple, while Marth studied the two giant statues, the crumbling ruins, the surrounding forest.

Zelda soon spotted the path to the balcony, and led Marth up the earthen incline. Marth admired her down-to-earth attitude about climbing uphill on her hands and knees in dirt. When they reached the top, the two found themselves standing in front of a door.

"This door leads nowhere," Marth stated in a confused voice.

Zelda wordlessly walked over to the door and opened one side. A sheet of grayness lay in front of them. Marth gaped at it, shocked. Zelda found herself enjoying this a lot. She giggled as his jaw dropped. Marth walked through the door first, doing a Link and looking at the grayness around him as he went through. Zelda followed him and shut the door.

A choir of ethereal bass voices sang the Song of Time. The first thing the two noticed upon entering was that the Temple was _huge_. And that wasn't counting the fact that an eight-story dungeon lay behind the stained glass at the other end. Zelda led Marth down the hallway to the Pedestal of Time, and took out the Dominion Rod.

Marth glanced at her, and jumped when he saw the Rod. "Zelda, how did you do that, and what _is_ that?"

Zelda looked at him, confused. "Did what?"

"You pulled that thing out of nowhere," Marth said, indicating the Dominion Rod.

"No, I didn't."

"_Yes_, you _did_," Marth insisted.

"Marth, that's impossible," Zelda said with the air of an adult correction a child's mistake.

"You pulled it out of nowhere!"

"Link can do it," Zelda said.

"So?!"

Zelda sighed. "Forget it. In this world, we can do that."

Marth studied the Rod. "So, I suppose it would be possible to carry five times one's own weight," he said. If he found the trick to doing that, he could carry plenty of weapons into battle.

"I guess so," Zelda said. "That's what Link has to do, given all his equipment, unless....Midna _might_ carry some of his stuff for him. Anyway, this is the Dominion Rod. It's technically Link's, but I temporarily stole it."

"Out of his 'pocket'," Marth said, making quote signs.

"Yeah. Pocket. Sure. Anyway, this rod has the ability to give life to certain statues, and it's usually carried by the Messenger of the Heavens." Zelda ran down the steps and stood in the middle of another Triforce symbol. She put the Ocarina to her lips and played another song: the Song of Time.

For epicness, it worked. What worked? Whatever Zelda was trying to do, which was apparently to summon two glowing stone hands out of the walls on either side of the temple. How Zelda knew they were there, no one could say, for the Hands of Gohdan were known to reside in the Tower of the Gods. They floated over to Zelda and hovered above her in front of her.

Alarmed, Marth ran to Zelda's side, drawing his sword. As he stopped, the circles in the hands' palms split, revealing themselves to be bright green eyes. Marth stared at them in horror as the eyes examined him. Then they looked at Zelda.

Marth tried not to show his anxiety. He had never experienced sacred temples that housed living stone which responded to special songs before. He was pulled out of disturbed thoughts by Zelda raising the Dominion Rod.

The Rod's green orb began glowing insanely, nearly blinding Marth. After about five seconds, the orb slowly dimmed back to normal. The travelers and Hands were quiet for a moment. Suddenly, the _eyes_ began to split horizontally, and wider at the middles of the holes. And then the Hands _spoke_.

"How the _hell_ did you know were were here?"

"Holy SHIT!" Marth yelled in shock. "EEEEWWWWW...."

The right hand turned to face Zelda. "I'm not going to ask how you knew we were here. Welcome Princess Zelda of whatever Hyrule this is. Though Link can speak post-game, your companion is not him, for he wears royal blue and not the Hero's Clothes, green as Farore herself."

"My companion is Prince Marth, from the country of Altea, located in the world or Fire Emblem," Zelda said. "He fell through a vortex from his world. We came here to speak to Rauru, to gain wisdom on what we should do."

The Right Hand spoke. "To see Rauru the Sage of Light, go to the Pedestal of Time beyond the Door of Time outside. If you play the Song of Time, the Chamber of the Sages in the Temple of Light will be revealed."

_Jeez_, Zelda thought. _So much "Time" and "Light." What is up with that?_

Suddenly, another thought struck Zelda. "Hey, the Head of Gohdan can speak, so why isn't he here?

Righty said, "Gohdan the Great Arbiter must always keep a part of himself within the Tower of the Gods to challenge new heroes. If not...HEY! I'M TRYING TO BE SOLEMN OVER HERE!!!"

Zelda turned to see Marth and the Left Hand breaking up a fight. It appeared that they had been arguing for quite a while. "What is going on?" Zelda asked, slightly annoyed.

In unison, Marth and the Left Hand said, "Well, you see, it began like this..."

flashback fog covered the Temple as the two recounted the argument:

_"EEEEWWWW..." Marth said._

_The Left Hand turned to him. "Got a problem?"_

_"_You're_ the problem!" Marth retorted. "Stupid hand..."_

_The Left Hand shut its mouth and eye and flicked Marth off. "Stupid human. I can crush you!"_

_"You wish," Marth said somewhat arrogantly._

_"I can, and I will," Lefty said confidently._

_"Try me," Marth said in a bored tone._

Lefty had just made a fist and aimed for Marth, who was crouching to dodge. Before Lefty could bring himself crashing the the ground, Righty interrupted. "Crazy, how dare you?! What would the Goddesses say if you defaced the _Temple of Time_?!"

"But Master, you could fix it!" Lefty said in a somewhat whining tone.

"Master? Crazy?" Zelda looked confused.

"Yeah," said Righty-Master. I am the manifestation of the creative spirit, while Lefty here is Crazy, manifestation of the destructive spirit."

"Aren't you copying from Super Smash Bros?" Marth asked, confused.

"So?" Lefty said, still irritated with Marth.

"So you're just wannabes!" Marth said in a condemning voice.

"ARE NOT!" both hands yelled.

"Are too! You don't have the true Hands' skills!"

"But we can do the teamwork stuff!" Lefty said earnestly.

"And this world needs manifestations anyway," Righty said matter-of-factly. "The other two are manifestations of the Smash World."

"That's beside the point!" Zelda said, chiming in angrily. "Unless you get proper licensing from the rest of Nintendo, you can't act like the Hands!"

"How do you know about Nintendo?" The hands asked.

"Um...um....ooh look! Chickens!"

Even though it was a really stupid diversion, for some reason there _were_ chickens, _lots_ of them, running down the steps at the Temple's entrance towards the floor. Gohdan's hands flew towards the roof, while Marth and Zelda swerved out of the path of the chicken stampede.

For chickens, they seemed smart, or at least focused. All the chickens ran right past the people, not sparing them a glance. The hidden staircase came to life with a glow as all the chickens ran up it past the illusion window. As the last chicken ran through, the illusion returned to normal and the stairs vanished.

Feathers floated gently to the floor. The last chicken-scream died away in the distance. Zelda and Marth stepped back onto the Pedestal and the hands floated back down, looking at each other, the travelers, the remains of the chicken trail, in awkward silence.

"What. The. _Fuck?!_" That was Marth.

"I don't know," Lefty said with a sigh. "So anyway," it turned to Zelda, "How did you know about Nintendo?"

Zelda stuttered, looking around and laughing nervously. "Um...heheh...Thanks for your help!" she yelled to the hands, grabbing Marth by the end of his cape and dragging him out of the Temple, running up the steps and outside, oblivious to Marth's "Ow. Ow. Ow"s.

The Temple door slammed shut. The hands turned to look at each other, blinked, and wordlessly floated back into their places on the walls, where they vanished.

In the present day, the Temple of Time was ruins. The only part that still existed was the doorway leading back in time. The chamber that had held the Master Sword was now a grove, and the Door of Time had crumbled.

Zelda walked through the remains of the Door and stood on the Pedestal of Time, in the center of the Triforce. Marth followed her, looking around with wondering eyes. He stopped and stood next to Zelda, and again she played the Song of Time.

The edges of the octagonal Pedestal began to glow blue, and a wall of blue force shot up from the ground. Zelda raised her left hand, which Marth noticed had the same triangle symbol as the Pedestal. Then the world went white.

As the light faded, Marth looked around. The grove was gone, and they were in an ethereal blue room which didn't seem to have walls, floors or ceilings it just _was_. There were multiple floating blue platforms around the "room," but Marth noticed that the one he was on was more decorated. Six symbols in six different colors decorated the edge, but someone was standing on the yellow one. He drew his attention to the man, who was currently talking to Zelda.

"I have heard that vortexes can exist as natural phenomena," the man was saying, "but I have never heard of a specific instance in which they were. Ganondorf may have indeed regained a physical body."

"That is why Adlez and I split our Triforce of Wisdom in two," Zelda said. She held out her left hand, back up. The lower-left triangle partially glowed, in the shape of an upside-down V. The smaller triangle below it in the original triangle was dark.

"That was wise of you, Zelda. You truly do represent your goddess,"Rauru said, praising the princess. "I will inform the other sages and the spirits of this. I expect I will see you again soon."

Zelda bowed. "Thank you, Rauru. Goodbye."

Rauru lifted his arms, and in another flash of blinding white, the grove reappeared, with the strong blue force slowly receding into the ground. Once the blue had faded, Zelda activated Farore's Wind, and in another flash of light, she and Marth were standing in the courtyard of Hyrule Castle.

"Jeez," Marth groaned as he rubbed his temples. "I'm going to go blind from your magic."

Zelda's laughter was interrupted by a pale, frantic knight. "Your Highness!"

"What's happened?" Zelda asked, suddenly serious.

"We cannot find your sister, that's one thing. But more importantly, Castle Town is being attacked by a battalion of monsters!"

Zelda frowned and ran up to the balcony, Marth close behind. Indeed, half of the Town was in flames and the entire Castle Guard was dueling monsters in the streets. However, the Bulbins had an advantage, with their bows and boars.

Zelda couldn't just stand by and watch. "Marth, we fight!" she said, running out of the room down to the entrance, grabbing her rapier along the way.

The streets were utter chaos. The Gorons tried to help, being rock and unaffected by the fire on the Bulbins' arrows; however, they would roll up and attempt to plow the boars, and would crash into buildings when the Bulbins dodged. Zelda called on some magic and lifted the water in the fountain above her head in a huge glob, which she sprayed over the burning buildings. Marth ran ahead and hacked away at monsters with great finesse. After the archers were dealt with, the battle began to turn in the Hylians' favor. Zelda ended up blowing up the leading Bulbin with the horn, and she grew more violent as the battle progressed.

When the last enemy fell, Zelda quickly took out the Ocarina and played Epona's Song. Then she ran off down the west street. Marth followed a foot behind, and once he had gained, said, "You're a good fighter."

"Thank you," Zelda said with genuine feeling. Then she sobered. "But I'm afraid my sister may be in danger. I called Link's horse with the song. We have to find them!"

The two were now on Hyrule Field, running to greet the roan horse galloping towards them. Epona shied, and Zelda leaped on. Marth clambered on after her.

"To Link, Epona!" Zelda said. The horse reared again and sprinted off the way she had come. It took no time to reach the Lanayru-Eldin pass. And barely a minute passed before they could see the exit. The Bridge of Eldin appeared in front of them.

_FUCK. That is a HUGE bridge!"_ Marth thought in amazement.

Something was happening at the other end of the Bridge. Link was reaching over the side of the bridge, but for what, neither Marth nor Zelda could guess. Midna was closer to the middle than anyone, but had her back to them, facing Adlez. Adlez was leaning over backwards, apparently having just fired an arrow from the Light Bow. Whatever she had just shot was giant and comprised of blackness, and it hung over her, writhing in pain as beams of light destroyed its shadowy form from the inside.

Golden Twilight barriers shattered at the ends of the Bridge. Zelda steered Epona to the group, which was oblivious to her arrival. It could now be seen that Link was pulling someone up from the side of the Bridge. Said person climbed up the side shakily, coughed, and stood up on shaky legs.

"Are you guys all right?" Zelda asked the group. They turned at the sound of Zelda's voice, and their eyes widened as they took in the minor injuries they saw on her.

Marth stared at the stranger. The familiar stranger. Who looked like he was trying to say something to him.

Marth beat him to it. "Ike!"

* * *

Whoo. Who saw that coming? If you did, home-baked virtual cookie for you.

Next time, I will put you out of any suspenseful misery you may have by taking you back to the Bridge of Eldin to watch the group battle Fierce Deity Dark Link.

If you do not review, your eyes will blow rainbow bubbles every time you sneeze, and every time you cough you will inexplicably feel an extreme urge to eat those bubbles with a pile of barbecue sauce and tartarsauce.


	4. Dueling Fierce Deity Dark Link

Whoo. Chapter Four. Last time, Marth and Zelda experienced some fluffiness. And killed some Bulbins. This time, we shall watch the fight on the Bridge of Eldin. Time to put you all out of any cliffhanger-induced misery I might have caused.

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda or Fire Emblem

ON WITH THE FIGHT!

* * *

Dueling Fierce Deity Dark Link

"Aw, fuck."

Adlez basically summed up their predicament in two words.

Dark Link smirked, playing with the Fierce Deity Mask in his hands. This would be quite fun. Link may have overpowered him when the two were on equal level, but this time would be different. No amount of allies would be able to help him. However, Dark Link _did_ have a mission...

"Be careful," Link warned. "He's going to be able to shoot magic out the double helix sword."

Dark Link put on the Mask. The characteristic blue and red markings appeared on his black face, and his hair turned blinding white, an odd contrast with his skin. There were red highlights in his hair, and his eyes were blank, completely white. Dark Link was now visibly muscular, covered in menacing black armor, and eight feet tall.

"Shit. This is worse than I thought it would be," Midna muttered, having never witnessed the transformation before.

Dark Link held up his left hand, the back facing the heroes.

"Is he still stupid, though?" Adlez said, staring at the hand blankly. "Whatever he's trying to show us, we won't be able to see from way over here. Get out the Hawkeye."

Link pulled it out, held it to his face, and zoomed in on his counterpart's hand. "He has a sort of Triforce symbol on his hand, but it's gray and none of the pieces are solid colored," he reported. "But it's obvious he's here to steal the Triforce. He'll be after you, Adlez."

"Well, it's a good thing he won't get the entire Triforce if he wins, which he won't. Zelda and I split the Triforce of Wisdom in two after we defeated Ganondorf, remember?"

"Watch out!" Navi suddenly yelled.

Dark Link was charging, swinging his mighty sword left and right, sending balls of lightning magic hurtling at the heroes. Midna held out her hand, palm out, and a red Twilit force field appeared in front of her, acting as a shield. The balls dissipated against it. By this time, Dark Link was upon them. He raised his mammoth sword above his head, preparing to drive it into Midna's, but it met Link's Master Sword. The two counterparts clashed, sparks flying from their blades, which made a symphony of deadly music as the swords screamed and scraped one another. It was a desperate melee, parries and strikes and shields, dodges and rolls, each Link trying to gain ground on the narrow strip of stone far above the raging rapids below.

Midna and Adlez weren't quite sure how to approach the situation. Neither had the intent of leaving Link alone to fight this monstrosity. Adlez prepared Din's Fire and concentrated on sending the smoke to the shadow. However, as Adlez prepared to ignite it, Dark Link struck at Link's parry one-handed, simultaneously going in for a jab at Link and holding out his free left hand, dissipating the smoke.

"How did he do that?" Adlez whispered earnestly. "We need to gang up on him, Midna!" Concentrating once again, she summoned Link's Ordon Sword from the hero's bag, and drew her rapier. Adlez neatly caught the Ordon Sword and handed it to Midna. "Should we see if we make a difference in terms of swords?"

Midna accepted the sword. "Worth a shot."

The two girls ran into the duel, swords raised for battle. While it did give time for Link to give two significantly sized wounds to Dark Link's unprotected legs, neither knew the Hidden Skills, and neither could truly fight. After several strikes from the girls, all deflected, Dark Link roughly shoved them away from the sword fight with his double helix sword, and resumed his attack on Link.

"So much for that strategy," Midna said, glaring at Dark Link.

"We need to protect Link, not help him fight," Adlez said after a moment of thought. "Link has Magic Armor. He just needs a clearing to get it on. We can also attack from long range, and you have your Fused Shadows. This match is so unfair," Adlez said, looking at Link with worry. "He's supposed to take on his counterpart who is now three feet taller, much stronger, able to use magic, and covered in armor!"

"Well, sitting here worrying about it won't solve anything," Midna said.

For the third time, Adlez concentrated. Suddenly, she framed her hands so she could see Dark Link through them, and a stream of light shot out, hitting Dark Link.

Dark Link froze against the magic.

"Get on the Magic Armor!" Midna yelled at Link, charging Dark Link with the Ordon Sword and hacking away at him.

After about ten seconds of this, Adlez began to grow tired. That spell was particularly draining, as the more powerful your enemy was, the harder it was to maintain it, and the more magic it required. It also didn't help that it was a particularly taxing and strong light spell. Dark Link began to struggle against the spell, and he was winning.

Sensing this, Navi yelled, "Watch out!" yet again. Midna and Link jumped back as Adlez let go of the spell, falling to her knees trying to catch her breath while remaining inconspicuous at the same time.

The moment Dark Link was free of the spell, he went for Adlez. Midna gathered her energy, and using her Force, mimed grabbing him and throwing him back. Her invisible Force power lifted Dark Link in the air and threw him back, though he resisted and was only knocked a short way away.

Adlez yanked a bottle of green potion out of her pouch and drank it greedily, sighing in relief as she felt magic flowing back into her. She stood up, and lifted her left hand above her head, creating a ball of lighting in it. As Dark Link got up, she fired it, a crackling vicious bolt soaring past Midna and Link and hitting the shadow squarely in the chest. His armor deflected most of the damage, but the electricity-conducting material caused the lighting to crawl over his body, and Dark Link momentarily froze in jolting pain.

However, it wasn't the result Adlez was looking for. Burned to a crisp was what she wanted, and he seemed to know how to dispel Din's Fire. "I think we need the Light Bow to finish him," she told Link and Midna. "I'm going to call the spirits. Try to keep him off me if you can."

Midna and Link nodded and prepared to fight as Dark Link slowly rose to his feet again. Adlez closed her eyes, and began to pray. "Spirits of the Goddesses, who shine far and wide upon this world, please heed my call!"

Four bright orbs flickered into being and floated in circles around Adlez's head.

"We are sorry, Adlez," they said in unison, "We can only appear over water."

A dumbfounded Adlez said, "_Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"_

"You heard us," they said. "We can only appear over water."

"There's a river below us!" Adlez protested.

"It's a long way down..."

"Well, then what about at the end of the game when you appeared over the hill?" Adlez asked indignantly.

"Those were special effects for the game."

"Holy Nayru," Adlez swore. "_Now_ how am I supposed to get the Light Bow?"

"Summon it, Adlez," the spirits whispered.

"Accio Bow, Accio Bow..."

"THAT'S HARRY POTTER!"

"Alright alright you cranky old spirits, I was just kidding jeez take a chill pill," Adlez said. The spirits' orbs vanished without another word. Adlez started weaving a spell in Old Hylian to draw the Light Bow towards her. After a moment, she opened her eyes and called to her friends, "The Light Bow is on its way!" She got out some needles to stab the shadow with; the Light Bow would require her magical energies. _I may not be Sheik right now, but I still have some skills._

Suddenly, the four fighters stopped. Music wafted to them from Castle Town. Epona's Song... What could Zelda be doing? The heroes spared a glance at Castle Town, and saw smoke rising into the sky.

"Zelda's in trouble!" Adlez said worriedly. Then she screamed and ducked to the left as Epona barreled past her towards Lanayru. The horse sprinted down the bridge, leaped over the barrier, and galloped into the pass.

As if that wasn't concerning enough, a perfectly circular black hole opened in the air above Adlez, who screamed and dodged again as a figure came falling out. The figure landed on his feet and straightened up, looking around confused. Adlez watched the hole vanish. _So that's a vortex._

Dark Link glared heavily at the newcomer. Two were giving him enough trouble, three would be even more, and four was too much to deal with. He had a mission to complete. He broke away from his fight with Link and Midna and launched himself at the oblivious newcomer, hoping to kill two birds with one stone. Well, simply maim one, but he needed to finish this quickly.

* * *

Ike had finished sharpening his sword _yesterday_. Marth was apparently still upstairs on the toilet seat, and Ike prayed he didn't have constipation. However, it wasn't all bad: Ike got to go in Marth's room, mess with Marth's stuff, and eat Marth's "secret" stash of food.

By morning though, Ike was more than a little worried. He put his ear to the bathroom door. "Hey, man, are you alright in there?" No answer. Ike opened the door a little. No Marth, but--DAMN WHAT WAS THAT SMELL?!

Ike took in a huge lungful of air, ran into the bathroom, shut the toilet lid, flushed the toilet, opened the window, and frantically sprayed the can of air freshener all over the room, until the nearly-full bottle was bone dry and the room smelled of nothing but lilacs.

"Jeez, where'd the retard go?" Ike muttered. "Can't even flush after himself..." Well, Marth clearly wasn't in the bathroom, so Ike walked out.

He had only taken his first step outside the room when he was...falling. Through blackness. After an initial panic, Ike gathered his wits and drew his sword, ready for any threats he might soon meet. Guess this was a solo adventure. Ike's heart pounded as he saw light below him.

Ike fell out the vortex with a _thud_. He saw movement ahead of him, but was too distracted by his surroundings to pay much attention to it.

He looked around, and found that he was standing on a huge bridge high above a gorge. In the distance on his right, he saw a fiery orange sun setting. On the left, a huge castle that was having ventilation problems stood proudly. He studied himself for injuries.

All of a sudden, a voice behind him yelled, "Watch out!" Instinctively, he turned in the opposite direction of the voice.

A black, eight-foot-tall _giant_ of a man, who looked like a living shadow, was charging at him with a monstrous sword, raised to cleave him in half down the center. There was barely any time for Ike to attempt to block.

Someone stepped in front of Ike, probably the one who had warned him of the attack. The someone was a girl about two-thirds of a head shorter than him with blonde hair all down her back, wearing a pink dress. As the dark giant figure brought his sword down, a blue diamond made out of magic, Ike presumed surrounded her. The sword hit the diamond but could not go through. The girl pushed forward with difficulty, and the figure towering over her stepped back from the force. However, after the initial recoil, the shadow closed in to stab Ike's savior. The girl jumped back , accidentally backing into Ike, and tossed needles where did she get those? At the dark man. The giant grunted in pain as several embedded themselves in his arms and jumped back, where he was met by two others who attacked him. A man in green directly engaged the monstrosity with a finely-crafted sword, and a strange white-and-black skinned woman, who wore a unique styled cloak and dress, defended him with her magic.

The girl who had protected Ike made to run into their sortie, but Ike grabbed her shoulder. She turned around with a slightly irritated look on her face.

"Thank you for saving me," Ike said kindly.

The frown vanished in a wave of neutrality. "It was nothing. You're alright, right?"

To tell the truth, I'm lost," Ike said a little sheepishly.

The girl smirked. "Well, Lost, my friends and I are _fighting Fierce Deity Dark Link_."

Ike blinked before catching on, and then smiled in comprehension at her joke. "Sure, why not?" he said, accepting her unasked invitation to the battle.

The girl turned back to the melee and started running, muttering as she did so. "Midna, Link, look out!" she called. She blasted a huge fireball from her outstretched palms at the shadow figure. The strange girl grabbed the green guy and jumped away before they could be seared by the inferno.

Ike thought the girl had scored a scorching hit, but suddenly a ball of compressed wind came speeding out of the blaze. The girl barely had time to put her arms in a blocking position in front of her face before she was thrown backwards into the arch at the end of the bridge, where she fell to the ground and couldn't get back up. The other girl yelled out, "Adlez!!" and _flew_, literally _flew_, to the girl on the ground.

Ike caught the green guy's eye, and both charged the huge menace, swords raised. The three swordsmen crossed blades in the middle of the bridge, intensity increasing as the new sword sent more sparks flying.

Suddenly, a whistling sound filled the air. Ike turned around, and saw something flying at Adlez from a castle in the distance. Ike's momentary distraction allowed Dark Link to strike at him, and Ike flew backwards. He was going to fly over the edge of the bridge, down into that gorge far below.

Link's hand caught Ike's and pulled, reeling him in. Ike crashed against the side of the bridge and had the wind knocked out of him roughly, but had enough sense to hold on. Now to get up.

* * *

The moment the newcomer went flying, Link had run after him to catch him before he fell to a probable death in the Zora Gorge. But then again, he might prove to be as durable as King Bulbin.

In desperation, Midna punched at Dark Link, a wave of her forceful magic sending him to the far end of the Bridge crashing against his own barriers. Without wasting time, she reached into Adlez's pouch and pulled out a bottle. Blue Potion lapped against the sides. Rather roughly, Midna uncorked the bottle and forced the open end into Adlez's mouth. Adlez weakly downed the potion. She started recovering, but the potion could not heal all her injuries.

As the Light Bow flew towards the girls, Adlez caught it with amazing dexterity, quite a feat from her position crouching on the ground. Adlez stood up slowly, and Midna caught a neutral expression on her face giving off waves of hatred that radiated the intent to kill. It was amazing how scary someone so hyperactive could be.

Dark Link stood up at the far end of the Bridge, preparing to charge the two.

"Get ready, Adlez," Midna said.

Adlez prepared the bow and fit an arrow to the string. Then she took aim.

"Hold on...I've almost got it...not quite..."she muttered.

Link looked over his shoulder and shouted at Adlez in exasperation. "JUST SHOOT THE FUCKING ARROW!!!"

"Hold on!" Adlez said. "I need to make _absolutely sure_ it's right."

"He's running right for you in a fucking straight line, Adlez!"

Midna sighed. "Forget it, Link. I'll distract him." Midna took some of Adlez's needles out of her pouch and ran for Dark Link. Just as she tossed them, he jumped into the air in a great arch...right for Adlez, still aiming, about to maim her with his sword.

Midna skidded to a stop in the middle of the Bridge and turned around, looking in horror at what she saw about to happen.

Link had the same expression as Midna, and didn't notice Ike boost his shoulders up onto the Bridge.

Ike had just managed to get himself over the side, and he saw that girl still aiming at a terror who was about to cleave her skull in half. He felt a sense of dread that his savior was going to die.

Then...

_Twang_.

A burst of light.

Unearthly screams from a massive shadow, being torn apart from the inside by blinding rays.

Adlez grinned a very sadistic grin, and settled on a satisfied victory smirk.

The dying screams of Dark Link faded with the light, and nothing remained where he had met his end but the Fierce Deity Mask, which floated gently to the ground.

Link helped pull the still-winded Ike over the edge of the Bridge, who coughed and stood up.

"Are you guys all right?"

The party turned in shock at the voice of Princess Zelda.

Zelda and Marth had ridden to the battle on Epona. Midna, Link, and Adlez looked shocked as they took in the burns and cuts on their bodies; what had happened to them? What was going on?

Ike didn't find shock in the burns and bruises, it was _who_ was burned and bruised that startled him. So _this_ was where Marth had ended up.

Marth's eyes widened as he realized who stood in front of him.

"Ike!"

* * *

Oh. My. Goddesses! Who saw that coming? Good job! You all get homemade virtual cookies!

This was actually one of the hardest chapters to make, seeing as it is my first fight scene I have ever written. I would love some reviews, filled with constructive criticism and not flames, so that future fights will be even better to read.

So much for that cliffhanger. Next time, the Fire Emblemians and the Hyruleans will be joined by yet another Fire Emblem hero. There's a pattern to this. If you guess, you might just be right, but keep your mouth shut, please.

If you do not review, each and every Skullfish from the Lakebed Temple, who happen to be very angry and very hungry, will come out your faucet the next time you take a shower or bath.


	5. Redheads, Vortexes, and Pillow Fights

Whoo. Chapter five is up!

Last time, Adlez, Link, Midna, and Ike, who had just fallen through a vortex, kicked Fierce Deity Dark Link's ass.

This time, the third and last Fire Emblem hero will fall through a vortex to Hyrule. i'm following a pattern here. So guess who.

Disclaimer: Don't own LoZ or FE

Let's go!!

* * *

Redheads, Vortexes, and Pillow Fights

Ike and Marth could not believe they were seeing each other.

"Ike!" Marth said, surprised.

"M-Marth!" Ike wheezed, still winded from the Bridge.

"Liar!" Adlez said, mock-punching Ike. "You said you were Lost!"

Zelda got off and walked over to Ike. She extended her hand for a handshake, which Ike accepted. "I assume you are Marth's friend, then," she said. Ike nodded. "I am Zelda, the elder Princess of Hyrule."

"Ike, leader of the Greil Mercenaries."

Zelda turned to her younger sister and gave her a quick hug. "I was worried sick when the guard said you weren't found! What the hell happened to you?!" she asked Adlez, examining the leftover cuts and wounds.

"Oh, we were just fighting Dark Link, who somehow came back to life and gotten the Fierce Deity Mask. But never mind us, we saw smoke over Castle Town!" Link and Midna laughed at Adlez's nonchalance, but Zelda looked at her with disgust for her disregard to the situation. "A battalion of Bulbins entered town. They're all dead."

Link cursed beside Adlez. "Guess you won't exact that gory revenge after all, Link," Adlez said.

"What?" a confused Marth and Zelda asked at the same time.

"Oh, never mind," Adlez said in a suddenly cheerful voice. "Let's go home. I'm hungry!" She promptly started walking towards the Lanayru pass. Midna shrugged and followed her, Link right behind her, holding Epona's reins. Zelda went to catch up with them, and Ike and Marth lagged behind, talking to each other about the past day.

"Hey Ike, can you not tell them about...you know...the toilet?"

"Sure," said Ike. "Just flush next time."

* * *

With the new addition of Ike, the Hyrule Castle dining table was once again filled with people, who were all hungry. Repairing the burnt buildings had taken a lot out of all of them. Because Dark Link had reappeared, helping Ike and Marth return home became a lower priority. However, no one seemed upset by this. Marth and Ike wanted to get to know Hyrule (and its royalty) more, and the Hylians found the foreigners very interesting.

The next morning, Adlez got up before the sun as usual. Her faithful Cucco Clucky had gotten her into the schedule since the day he'd hatched from the Weird Egg. Adlez went down to the castle courtyard to practice her invention of a new Nayru's Love without an audience. Dawn was the best time of day for that; nobody was there to interrupt.

Except today. About a half-hour after Adlez began trying her idea, Ike walked into the courtyard. He happened to rise with the sun at home himself. Ike noticed that Adlez hadn't seen him yet, and he decided to scare her when she was done. He had a feeling that if he interrupted her while she worked, a ball of who-knows-what painful magic would be shot up his ass.

He had seen her using that blue diamond-shield yesterday, but it appeared that she was trying to surround something else with the spell besides herself. It was amusing to see blue crystals pop up and fade into nothing. It was even funnier when Adlez got the hang of it, and started surrounding flowers, rocks, and frightened birds. Then she fine-tuned her control even more, and started crushing the things inside the crystals. Well...not the birds. Adlez suddenly sat down, taking a break from her exercise. Ike stood up, walked out from behind the wall where he had hid, and said, "Hey,"

Adlez turned around, a neutral expression on her face. She hadn't jumped or screamed. Mission:failed.

"Damn," Ike said. "I was trying to scare you. It's funnier when people jump."

"I don't jump at stuff like that," Adlez said.

"Did you hear me? Your ears look like they can hear better than mine," Ike teased.

"Ha-ha." Adlez said. "I didn't hear you, and I still didn't jump. Mine and Zelda's and Link's ears are like this because we're Hylian, not human."

"Beorc," Ike corrected automatically. _Why does she insult Beorcs by calling them humans?_ Ike wondered.

Adlez frowned, a confused look on her face. "What in the name of Nayru is a _Beorc_?"

_That would explain it_. "Oh," Ike said. "Beorc is what I'm used to calling humans. Where I come from, if you call a Beorc a human it's a serious insult."

"Oh," Adlez said.

"So, who is this Nayru you spoke of?"

Adlez said, "Nayru is the Goddess of Wisdom. In fact, it is said that Hylians have ears that are capable of hearing the voices of spirits and the Three Goddesses, but anyway, Nayru is one of the three, the other two being Din the Goddess of Power and Farore the Goddess of Courage."

"And they created your world? What are the stories that are told of them?"

"Aw! Do I really have to recite all the Triforce lore? Zelda does it better."

"Oh," Ike said, confused. "So, what type of magic was that?"

"Um...defensive?" Adlez said, unsure of what Ike was asking.

"No. Clerical, anima, light, or dark," Ike corrected. "Which one?"

I don't think any of those," Adlez said. "No one but evil people use dark magic, Zelda and I only use light magic to fight dark magic, and I have no idea what clerical and anima are."

"Clerical is healing, anima is elemental."

"Still none," Adlez said. "The spell, Nayru's Love, isn't any of those."

Ike was interested in this new type of magic that seemed to be normal for the Hylians. "Woah. That's really impressive."

"Really?" Adlez asked.

"Really. Magic in Fire Emblem is always one of the four."

Adlez thought about this curiously. "That's kind of... "

Whatever magic in Fire Emblem kind of was, Ike never found out. Someone's yell came from over head, coming closer and closer. Link was falling who knows how many stories to the ground.

Adlez held out her hand above her and slowed Link's falling speed. Thanks to the magic, Link landed on his feet unharmed. Until Midna jumped down and landed gracefully, despite falling faster. She grabbed the poor Hylian by his shirt collar and began shaking him, yelling at him incessantly. "Link, you naïve BUFFOON!! WE HAD A PLAN!! BUT NO, NOT IN THE SKY TEMPLE, NOT ON HYRULE FIELD, NOT AT SNOWPEAK, COULD YOU STICK TO OUR GODDAMN PLAN AND **JUMP!!!**"

The two disturbed onlookers backed away in fear at Midna's tirade, and Link had gone into a sort of defensive shock.

"W-wait, what were you doing?" Adlez asked uncertainly.

Midna abruptly stopped screaming and dropped Link, leaving him in a green heap on the ground. She looked over at Adlez and Ike, and answered in a civil tone which unnerved them even more. "We were going through the sewers for fun."

"And you didn't invite me?" Adlez asked accusingly.

"Oh you can join," Midna said. "If LINK here STICKS TO OUR PLAN and JUMPS! Although Midna was angry with Link, it was hard to stay mad at him when he had that sheepish-guilty grin on his face, cheeks red, scratching his head awkwardly.

"Alright then, let's go!" Adlez said, happy again.

Ike, who had never even heard of sewers, was very curious. Midna led the way out of the castle, and then suddenly vanished. Surprised, he looked at Link and Adlez, who made their way down a street completely unconcerned. They ran through town, which Ike wished he got to see more of, and down a side street into a very dismal alley. They walked into a bar and climbed the rafters before anyone could notice them, and ended up in a room piled with gold. Then, Midna suddenly reappeared. The cat in the room yowled in shock until Link stroked it, and then it opened the treasure chest. Without waiting, Adlez jumped _into_ it and vanished.

"What the hell?" Ike asked. Without answering, Midna jumped in, and then Link, so Ike wordlessly followed.

He splashed into a huge current of water, his three friends ahead of him. He could hear Adlez yelling happily and shook his head in disbelief. He enjoyed the ride, as did Link and Midna, and it was over all too soon, as they climbed onto a stone at the end of the two-minute ride. They then traveled through underground alleyways, where Ike discovered that Adlez was a pyro of sorts: she liked explosions, but not fire. Then they ended up on the roofs of the Castle, which provided Ike with a very good view of the surrounding country. However, Ike thought he suffered from a heart attack after a huge bird swooped directly at them, screeching loudly. Then, Adlez overreacted trying to kill it, and started running around frantically on the steep roofs trying to shoot it down, disregarding the obvious danger. Though Adlez could probably handle the fall, it shouldn't just be ignored.

Finally, the four climbed into the window in Zelda's room. Link was telling Adlez and Ike about how it brought back memories, and Midna was looking around. The four left and walked down the staircase, heading into the main body of the Castle.

Ike's first reaction was much similar to Marth's. The entrance hall was very grand. As he looked around the huge hall, Adlez and Midna got the idea to scare someone by using the Dominion Rod to animate the statues. Together, they ran up a staircase and hid behind a statue, and Link pulled out the Dominion Rod. Ike, not knowing what it could do, was confused.

"How did you do that?" Ike asked.

"Do what?" Link asked.

"You pulled that thing out of nowhere!"

"No. I pulled the Dominion Rod out of my pocket." Link said.

"Your 'pocket'," Ike said, making quote signs.

"Yeah. Pockets are like that here. Check it out!" Link said. He pulled a small brown pouch off from his waist and opened the hood, showing Ike the contents. Tiny things were inside. Ike watched Link reach in and grab what looked like a token, but as it came out of the bag, it grew to become a heavy-looking, old-looking, drill-like disk. "The Spinner," Link said, and as he put it back in the bag it shrunk again.

"Wow," Ike said in awe. "Mass produce those in Fire Emblem and you'd be set forever."

"Granted, it's one of the few days Link is carrying all his stuff," Midna said. "Usually he _lets_ me carry all but two or three of his things." Link gave her a betrayed look.

"Shh! Just use the Rod before someone comes!" Adlez hissed. Link leaned around the statue and compared some of the other statues on the first floor. "Which one?" he asked.

"Get the Hero of Time one," Adlez said.

Link stuck the Dominion Rod out from behind the statue orb first. He flicked a sort of scope-like instrument out on one side and focused on the head, then locked on...

"What the hell."

Adlez.

"Link, what the hell. You can do that, and yet I hear you whine about all your difficulty controlling it in the Temple and finding the Sky Statues."

"This is a post-game ability!" Link snapped at Adlez. "I can whine all I want!"

"_Fine_," Adlez said.

Link looked back into the scope. Aim, lock...

"Someone's coming!" Adlez hissed.

"Adlez!!"

"Sorry..."

Hopefully for the last time, Link readied the Dominion Rod. Aim, lock on, wait for Adlez, no Adlez? "Go," Link whispered. The ball of light practically shot out the Rod and embedded itself in the head of the Hero statue. Adlez took the Lens of Truth out of her own "pocket." "More post-game abilities!" she whispered happily. She held up the Lens at a good height from behind the statue where the four hid and whispered in Old Hylian, "Grow, activate!"

The Lens grew large enough for the four to comfortably watch the show from behind the statue, and it made the part of the statue it concentrated on "vanish."

Adlez was right; someone _was_ coming: a dumpy-looking knight. Link put his left hand on the end of the Rod where the orb had been and began whispering in Old Hylian intently while watching through the Lens.

The poor knight. As he walked by, the statue made a V sign behind his head, like overgrown bunny ears. The knight turned around and started sweating and hyperventilating. The knight rushed across the room, but while his back was turned the statue started to do a very odd and heavy-sounding Can Can dance. The knight turned around again and became white as a sheet as he saw the statue dance. Then, the statue tried to do an interpretive dance of Saria's Song, and it failed rather badly. The knight ran screaming from the room, begging the Goddesses for mercy, and Ike, Midna, Adlez, and Link were rolling around on the floor crying and laughing. And then Midna got hiccups. And then Adlez.

"Um, what's going on?"

Marth stood at the base of a staircase staring at the four on the floor laughing.

"We were scaring some knight crazy, but now we're just laughing," Ike explained.

"What did you do?"

"I used the Dominion Rod to control that statue," Link said, indicating the Hero of Time statue, now climbing back onto its pedestal. It got back into its original position, and the green orb flew out of its head and back to the Dominion Rod.

"Link! Hey, Link!" Navi's annoying voice startled them all.

"WHAT, Navi?!" Link yelled.

"Listen!"

Everyone stopped and waited for the fairy to explain.

"Well..." Midna said, hinting that Navi should continue.

"Listen!"

"..."

"Listen!" Navi said again.

Adlez hit Navi over the head with the Dominion Rod.

"Hey!" Navi said. Then she flew to the stairs, stopped, flew around wildly, and continued up the stairs. Tatl and Tael came down and said, "A vortex opened, Zelda says HURRY!"

Needless to say, all five sprinted after the fairies.

* * *

Zelda had been enjoying herself in the innermost courtyard, playing music on the Ocarina of Time. The Requiem of Spirit, easily the best in her opinion.

But that was before her peaceful solitude was ruined by the entrance of Navi, who kept on asking Zelda to listen to a story she wouldn't tell for a very long time, due to her incessant command to "listen". She finally began telling it, but after Zelda's initial shock when it became clear that Navi had more vocabulary than five words, Zelda began to ignore her. That made Navi angry after she finally realized Zelda wasn't listening, and began flying around her head yelling "Listen! Listen! Listen!"

Things went even further downhill when a freaked out knight suddenly stumbled into the yard, rambling on about moving statues as he screaming like a girl. It was obvious to Zelda that Link had used the Dominion Rod, but with a fairy buzzing around her head and a cowardly knight screaming, Zelda was getting a migraine and a short temper.

And then, when she thought things couldn't get any worse, a perfectly circular black hole appeared in the wall and a weird redhead flew out. On instinct, Zelda threw the pudgy knight into what she intuitively knew was a vortex, which was shrinking fast.

It worked. The knight prevented the vortex from closing, but now he was even more freaked out than before, if that was at all possible. It was quite disturbing to see a quasi-rabid man screaming like a girl and foaming at the mouth from partially within a vortex that led to lands unknown. "Navi, go get Link!" Zelda yelled. The fairy, forgetting her anger a minute ago, flew off in a streak of blue yelling, "Link! Link!"

The blue nuisance was gone, but Zelda now had to worry about the knight keeping the vortex open, and the redhead who was standing up, who might possibly be a threat.

"Uhh... holy _damn_...my head...what the _hell_ was a rock wall doing here?" the redhead moaned. Then he noticed Zelda. "Who the fuck are you?"

Zelda, already pissed, found that she did not like this kid. "_I_ am Zelda, Princess of Hyrule, and _you_ have just crashed into the rock walls of _my_ castle. I should be asking you who _you_ are."

"My name is Roy," the boy said. "I am the future Marquess of Ostia. Maybe we should get together," he said with a wink.

Zelda looked away as she rolled her eyes, concentrating on the vortex and the knight. "How old are you, shorty?"

"Hey!" said Roy, "I'm-" Just then, Ike, Link, Marth, Midna, and Adlez ran into the courtyard.

"What the hell? You too, Roy?" Ike asked.

"How did you get here?" Marth asked.

"Through that!" Zelda said, pointing at the knight, which concealed the vortex.

Everyone stopped to stare at Zelda. Even the knight stopped screaming.

"Princess," the knight said quite calmly. "I assure you that he did _not_ come out of _me_."

For a moment, Zelda was quiet as she thought about what the knight had said.

…

"NOT LIKE THAT!" she yelled, startling everyone. "I'm keeping the vortex open by plugging it with this knight!"

"That's so nice, sis," Adlez said, walking up to her sister. "Here, let me help." Just like that morning, Adlez performed her new Nayru's Love, expanding it on the inside of the vortex. The spell pushed the knight out, who immediately got up and walked out of the courtyard, where he promptly resumed foaming at the mouth and ran off screaming again. However, the vortex did not close because of the spell on the inside.

"Alright, this isn't too hard now, but the longer I hold this, the more difficult it's going to be. So go as fast as possible," Adlez told Zelda.

Zelda stared at the spell, surprised for a moment. Then she nodded in understanding. "You're going to teach me that later,"she said, indicating the blue crystal. Then, she sat down on her knees, clasped her hands together, and got to work.

A large transparent golden orb surrounded the vortex. Golden fibers descended towards the vortex from the orb and attached firmly to the mystery. Zelda closed her eyes in concentration, using the spell to absorb any knowledge she could from the vortex.

After Zelda worked around the Nayru's Love, she set to learning about the vortex. It displayed circulating energy, that much was obvious. The magic was different than anything Zelda had encountered before, but it seemed to borderline on dark magic. After a moment of thinking this, she realized it was not so much dark as it was malevolent. In the darkness of the vortex seemed to be a type of world, or dimension, or maybe even a mere limbo. There was another "hole" like it somewhere else, but Zelda did not know where it let out to, where it was in relation to anything, or how she knew it was there. The hard thing, however, was to stabilize the vortex she was working on. Zelda and Adlez had used this orb to study their own magic several times before, and had tried using an orb on another orb. The orb froze all magic inside it to learn about it. Was there a way to freeze the orb?

Zelda decided that the vortex had to stop circulating, as it was the only part of the mystery dimension that actually circulated. Zelda opened her eyes.

"Alright everyone," she said. "Anyone who can use magic, listen up! We have to stop the vortex from spinning. This could take a lot of magic, and we might end up relying on life force a bit. Midna, help me try to stop the spinning. Adlez, hold out Nayru's Love just a bit longer." Midna walked up to the vortex and Adlez, who had used up a good third of her magic, nodded grimly.

With that, Zelda closed her eyes again and started sending her consciousness into the vortex. With her mind and her magic, she began working against the spinning current on the outer essence or the vortex. Midna used more forcible, primitive methods, and threw her Force magic hands into the vortex, literally trying to pull it in the opposite direction. It was slow going, as Zelda and Midna were working against the very nature of the vortex. Adlez momentarily scared them when she began helping by rotating her Nayru's Love along with them. That gave them the last little nudge they needed, and ever so slowly, the vortex's rotation slowed to a stop.

However, Zelda knew from the orb that even if they were to release the magic now, the vortex would spiral wildly out of existence back into its mother dimension. After Link had given them all revitalizing Green Potions, Zelda got back to work, trying to find a way to bind the vortex to Hyrule.

Suddenly, Midna piped up. "Maybe we should try..._sewing_...it. You know, ripping it out of the other dimension and tying it to this one."

Zelda stared at her for a moment before saying, "Wow, Midna, I never knew you liked sewing! However, if we look at it that way, this is very different "fabric" we're working with. How do we "unstitch" this?"

"Forcibly," Midna replied simply. Then, she drew her force magic into the shape of invisible hands in the air, and started ripping at the vortex. Everyone looked at the vortex, amazed that it showed physical signs of "ripping". The edges were blurry and looked frayed and worn. Zelda immediately fortified these rips with her magic, Adlez backing them up the entire time.

When the vortex was so blurred and ripped it was impossible to distinguish an edge, they stopped and had more Green Potion.

"Last part's going to be the hardest," Zelda warned. "I'm not exactly sure how to approach this. How do we "sew" it? Any ideas?"

"I'll try "kneading" or "twisting" the edges together. I think this time I should be gentle and you should be firmly binding them together with magic," Midna said.

"Okay," Zelda said. "Ready?" Midna and Adlez nodded. Midna concentrated on the physical mixing: she rubbed, twisted, and bound the edges together, while Zelda injected magic, working to create self-perpetuating bonds.

Eventually, the vortex reached a state of equilibrium. Tentatively, Adlez shrunk her Nayru's love. Nothing happened. More confident, Zelda released the golden orb. Nothing happened again, so Adlez released Nayru's Love altogether. And when nothing happened again, everyone knew that they had succeeded in stopping the vortex. However, no one really knew what to say now that it was done.

"Well, with this awkward silence, the postal service will be doomed in no time!" Adlez complained.

* * *

Zelda, Adlez, Link, and Midna led the way to the sunroom in Hyrule Castle. After picking up some random food from the kitchen, everyone settled into the numerous chairs and sofas in the bright room. Roy was busy pigging out, while Adlez was doing something exasperating, as usual. She was currently sitting in a very fluffy chair, wearing a black cloak over her dress. Link, Zelda, and Midna were all not as comfortable as her in the rather stuffy room.

"Jeez, Adlez, let me open a window or something!" Zelda said.

"But it's fine in here," Adlez said, confused. "It's nice and warm."

"It's a freaking fire in here!" Zelda said. She stood up and opened all the windows into the room. "How you can stand it, I'll never know." She sighed in exasperation as Adlez curled up tighter in her cloak, as if she was cold.

"Anyway," Marth said, "Roy, how did you end up here?"

"Well," Roy said, "I was in Magvel to help Eirika renew a treaty with Grado. Everyone had just found out about your disappearance in Magvel, Marth, and everyone was worried. I decided to head for Altea to see what I could do. Along the way I met Ephraim's party, who happened to be going to Altea as well. I joined him, not seeing a reason to separate. However, earlier today, we saw an evil man with dark skin and red hair on the edge of Darkling Woods. He tried to attack Myrrh, why, we have no idea. Even using her dragonstone, she was losing, so Ephraim and I intervened. It was a hard battle, you wouldn't believe how skilled he was, in both sword and magic! We started to win, but then all of a sudden he did something to the air. It looked like he slashed it and the vortex thing appeared. That distracted me, and before I knew it, he was behind me and he had punched me through. And then I collided with a wall."

"And that's when you came through?" Marth asked.

Roy nodded, but then looked over at the Hyruleans, who were staring grimly at each other, talking. Confused, Marth, Roy, and Ike listened to them.

"How could Ganondorf have possibly regained a physical body so soon?" Link asked incredulously.

"How was he in Fire Emblem at all? That's what _I _want to know," Adlez said.

"This is worse than we could have ever imagined! As many worlds as there are to plague, it seems Ganondorf will inevitable come across them all!" Midna said angrily.

"Rauru better have some really good answers for this," Zelda said.

Marth remembered Rauru from his journey around Hyrule with Zelda. He also remembered that he had mentioned this Ganondorf. "Who exactly is Ganondorf?" he asked her.

The Hyruleans remembered their audience and broke their conference, turning with somber expressions to their guests.

"Ganondorf." Zelda began in her most serious tone. "He is the former King of the Gerudo tribe of the desert. He bears the Triforce of Power and has ascended to become the King of All Evil. Even in human form he is a monster, and when he is in his beast form Ganon, he is the embodiment of destruction, sorrow, and despair."

"He's also immortal," Adlez said, "so it's up to the wielders of the other two Triforces to defeat him. He's bent on conquering Hyrule, and then world, and gaining the True Force to govern all. Whenever he rises, the Chosen Hero and Princess of Destiny must be there to stop him."

"I am the sole one responsible for putting an end to him," Link said. "Only Light Arrows, Silver Arrows, and the Master Sword have any chance of injuring him."

"He's a freaking prick!" Midna practically yelled in anger, no doubt remembering how Ganondorf had led Zant to corrupting the Twilight.

Marth, Roy, and Ike all began laughing at this, not knowing the reason behind Midna's anger. "Well, he is!" Midna said indignantly.

"Well yeah," Zelda said. "But anyway, he doesn't just regain a physical body merely two years after his last defeat! It takes longer for him to reincarnate or resurrect or for him to destroy a seal than two years! And I want to know what he was doing in Fire Emblem, so I'm going back to the Sacred Grove."

"YES!!!" Link shouted. Everyone jumped, except Adlez, who just turned to look at him. "I really hate the Skull Kid there," Link explained to the confused guests, "so this means I get to kick his ass!" An expression of sadistic anticipation appeared on his face.

"Well it's not worth going now," Marth said, looking out the window into the sky, which was already a dark blue. "We should spend tomorrow preparing ourselves. We are going to Fire Emblem to figure this out, aren't we?"

"Of course!" Zelda said. "We can't just let Ganondorf go around unchecked in two worlds!"

So it was decided that the next day would be preparation for Fire Emblem, and Zelda went about fixing up a guest room so Ike, Marth, and Roy could all stay together comfortably. However, this got Adlez excited, and the girls planned a secret slumber party, complete with pillow fights, Adlez's special brownies, and staying up until midnight. The guys obliviously went to bed, and woke up at ten at night to lots of girly shrieks. After an entire half hour in which Link, Roy, Marth, and Ike debated the wisdom of opening the door to the girls' room, they finally said to heck with it, and were greeted with lots of feathers and extremely hyper girls smacking each other with pillows. The boys suddenly charged in and joined the fun, and everyone made their own pillow fort to fight against everyone else. Adlez vanished for about ten minutes, and returned with every other pillow in the castle, which she used to attack maniacally. Then it turned into boys against girls, and at around one in the morning, all seven of them were sleeping in random disjointed positions around the room.

Navi flew in with Tatl and Tael, and after her initial reaction, said the only thing she could.

"Hello?"

* * *

The ending is slightly random. Now, I'm no Navi-hater, but I really couldn't resist, especially after listening to Techno Navi on Youtube for about an hour.

I also have nothing against Roy, even though it really looks like it. THAT'S a joke from SSBM, in which Roy was always the butt of said joke. To this day, none of us are sure how exactly it happened...

Next time, there will be a sort of break from the main story, in which complete and utter randomness takes place, including a date with Marth and Zelda, Link having to put up with Adlez, and Roy almost dying...sorta...

If you do not review, every single enemy, important or not, from Arbiter's Grounds, _down to the very last annoying bug-mite_, will convene in your room on Halloween.


	6. Adlez's PartTime Jobs and Awkwardness

Disclaimer: I don't own LoZ or FE. Or Mario, for that matter. You'll see... But Nintendo owns it all. Remember that, kids.

Last time, the third and last Fire Emblem hero was pulled into Hyrule by a vortex. And there was a pillow fight.

If you didn't get the pattern of Fire Emblem heroes, they all made appearances in Smash Bros. DUH.

* * *

Adlez's Numerous Part-Time Jobs: AWKWARD!

Adlez woke up reluctantly as she heard Clucky crowing like there was no tomorrow. With a huge yawn, she lifted her head, blinked her very heavy-feeling eyelids, and looked around.

She, apparently, had fallen asleep on a sofa. Ike was leaning up against the side of the sofa, sleeping on the floor. She saw Link's green hat poking out from underneath a pile of pillows and commended the hero with her thoughts for the good idea. Roy was on another sofa across the room, sprawled out over the entire thing. Zelda was sleeping on the floor, somewhat curled up. Her head was next to Marth's, who was sleeping in the opposite direction of Zelda. Adlez smiled as she envisioned the reaction Zelda would have when she woke up, and then looked for Midna. When she couldn't find her Twili friend, Adlez assumed Midna had fallen asleep in a shadow.

Adlez was about to get up when Zelda started stirring thanks to Clucky. She too yawned, blinked, and stretched, before studying her environment.

Adlez watched in amusement as Zelda looked at Roy and rolled her eyes, smiled at her sister and positively grinned at Ike, silently laughed at Link's hat, and shrugged her shoulders when she failed to locate Midna. Then Zelda turned back to Adlez, the questioning look in her gaze clearly asking where Marth was.

With her own silent laugh, Adlez pointed behind her sister. Very slowly, Zelda turned around and almost jumped when she saw Marth's head right beside the spot where hers had been. She turned back to Adlez and glared at her, as Adlez was now rolling around on the sofa with silent laughter.

Regaining her composure, Adlez stood up and walked out of the room, Zelda right behind her. When they were far enough down the hall, Zelda fell into step with her sister and said, "I'm sure you enjoyed that."

"Your face? Of course!" Adlez said happily. "It's obvious you have a crush on Marth."

Her sister's face became a hue pinker. "It's that obvious?"

"To me at least," Adlez said in reassurance. "I think Marth likes you too."

Zelda smiled, turning two hues pinker. "And what about you and Ike?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"He was sitting by the sofa you were sleeping at!" Zelda said in a semi-accusing, semi-playful tone. Adlez simply shrugged, knowing what her sister was getting at but blowing it off.

The sisters reached their rooms, and five minutes later they reemerged in their royal dresses. Zelda went downstairs to have breakfast, and Adlez made chocolate chip pancakes, taking hers outside to practice her Nayru's Love again.

After Zelda finished, she followed her sister out into the "secret" courtyard and found out how her sister did her new Nayru's Love. They practiced together for about half an hour before Adlez said, "You know, I think it's time for them to be getting up."

"Yeah," Zelda said. She was about to leave the courtyard to go knock on the door, but Adlez ruined her plan.

"OY YOU LAZY BUMS RISE AND SHINE!!!"

Zelda flinched at how loud her sister was yelling. Adlez started picking up rocks and pegging them at the stones outside the window to the room. From inside the room, they heard Clucky cawing at top volume.

"Come on, help me here!" Adlez said to Zelda. "Ring the castle bells or something! GET UP ALREADY!!! IT'S ALMOST SEVEN IN THE MORNING PEOPLES YOU'VE HAD LONG ENOUGH TO SLEEP!!!"

With a sigh, Zelda ran out of the courtyard and dashed up one of the towers to the bells. She leaped to the handle and swung back and forth, the bells clashing and ringing very loudly.

Adlez grinned when she heard annoyed groans from within the room. As Zelda came back, she yelled, "HURRY UP!!!" and then laughed and ran back into the castle. With another sigh, Zelda followed her hyperactive younger sister.

At least Adlez wasn't entirely unrefined. She set about making lots of pancakes, and was rewarded for her efforts. When five annoyed people walked into the kitchen glaring daggers at her, she presented her hot breakfast and was immediately forgiven.

Breakfast that morning was hectic. Midna and Link were talking nonstop about this next adventure they were going to have, Roy was eating much more that he was fairly allotted, Ike was silently eating and marveling over the pancakes, and Marth was wondering why Zelda was slightly pink and seemed to avoid eye contact with him. However, this all stopped when Adlez started banging an iron pot on the wrought-iron stove to get everyone's attention, leaving dents on both pot and stove. "People, listen up! We are going to Fire Emblem tomorrow, so whatever you need to or want to do to get ready for it, do it today! In other words Link stock up on stuff and be ready to go to the Sacred Grove for your revenge, 'cause Zelda and Midna are going to the Mirror Chamber for a while and then the Grove to talk to Rauru."

Link grinned in anticipation and began thinking of very horrible ways to kill the Skull Kid.

"With that, Midna and I will be going," Zelda said. "We'll come back when we're going to the Grove because we're going to Twilight and around Hyrule looking for potions and stuff."

"Alright. See you later," Link said, and Zelda and Midna left. "So what do you want to do?" he asked Adlez.

"We are _going_ to go through your room and find anything and everything that could be useful on this journey so we don't die," Adlez said, and then immediately started walking towards his room. Link ran to her side, asking what she was thinking they should bring.

This left three Fire Emblem guests feeling very awkward, alone in the kitchen. "Wonderful. What now?" Roy asked his friends.

"Maybe we could brush up on our swordsmanship, keep ourselves scarce," Marth said uncertainly.

"Sounds good," Ike said. "So let's go down somewhere open and practice."

With that, the three left the kitchen, leaving lots of dirty dishes behind them.

* * *

Zelda found the Great Fairy of the Springs to be rather slutty, with no top and all. But really, just the way to greet injured heroes in the Cave of Ordeals. However, she said nothing, and the numerous empty bottles she had grabbed from the pantry soon had Fairy Tears and lots of fairies in them.

After putting the filled bottles back into one of her two pockets, she and Midna set out for Link's grandma's house to get Elixir Soup. And after that was done, Midna suggested getting Gourmet Soup as well.

Zelda shivered as she appeared in Snowpeak, and wondered if Adlez had liked it up here. She turned to look for Midna, but a voice came out of her shadow. "Sorry, Zelda, when it comes to yeti-boarding, you're on your own."

"Yeti-boarding...?"

Zelda did not get the chance to inquire further, as Yeto spotted her. "COME TO RACE, UH?"

Zelda's eyelid twitched. "Uhhh....sure...."

Yeto punched the tree, and two board-ice-leaves fell off. "THREE OF US RACE, UH!" he said.

Zelda uncertainly stepped on the board.

"READY, SET, GO, UH!!!"

With that, Yeto, Yeta, and Zelda sped down the mountain. Yeto was easy to pass; Zelda was enjoying the crazy speed, and Yeto was very slow. However, Yeta was in front, giggling annoyingly. Zelda frowned at the yeti in front of her and crouched down even lower on her ice board. She immediately noticed the acceleration as she launched herself off a jump. With a _thump_, her board landed right in front of Yeta, and Zelda relentlessly continued up Yeta's dangerous shortcut path, adrenaline pulsing through her as she swerved on the narrow ledge.

Zelda internally cheered as she flipped off her board, her heart still beating fast from the epic success. Yeta skidded to a halt on her belly on the stone, and after about five minutes, Yeto finally wobbled in in third place.

"GOOD RACER, UH!" Yeto said to Zelda.

Yeta giggled. "You stronger than sister, uh!"

"Huh?" Zelda asked, confused.

"Sister fall in snow after race, uh! She ride me, uh! Then fall, like this, uh!" Yeta explained, mimicking Adlez falling into the snow.

"Oookkaaayyy?" Zelda asked. Without wasting much time, she went inside, got some soup, and left as fast as possible. Before the yetis could come out and bid her goodbye, she began warping to the Mirror Chamber.

Once they were there, Midna jumped out of Zelda's shadow. "You know you did that almost entirely without my help?"

"SWEET!" Zelda said. Now let's go to Twilight!" Together, the two girls walked up to the Mirror and warped through. As they reformed into particles on the other side, Zelda looked around in wonder. Midna said, "Have I ever told you how glad I am I didn't destroy the Mirror?"

"I know _I'm_ glad," Zelda said, still taking in the Palace of Twilit. Together, they walked up the steps, under the amazed gazes of the Twili. Several came up to Midna and asked her questions. Zelda found that she could understand their language just as she understood Midna, and then realized with a start that Marth, Ike, and Roy could too. Midna led the way inside the palace to the throne room.

Several of her councilmen were in the room chatting amongst themselves. However, when the door opened, everyone stopped and bowed to her. One walked up to her and bowed to Zelda as well. "Your Highness," he said, addressing Midna, "I cannot be but blunt when I ask how it is possible that a light dweller retains their form in our realm."

"This is the Princess Zelda of Hyrule, a land in the light realm," Midna said, and the group bowed to Zelda, who returned the gesture. "She bears a power of her gods, and can retain solid form in the Twilight. She has granted me her powers and now I too can walk in her world in solid form. However, as another wielder of her gods' powers was transformed when a Twilit Messenger touched him, I am not sure what would happen if we were to touch."

"Link was able to regain his form here," Zelda said. "If it is possible for him, it is possible for me."

"Yes," Midna agreed, "but we have no time for that right now." She turned to her council. "In the light realm, some vortexes opened up. Three people have so far fallen from their world into Hyrule. They are from neither the light world nor our realm of Twilight. However, due to the third's account of his story, we learned that the man who had been the mastermind behind Zant's betrayal is nowhere near as dead as we hoped, and to top it off, he is in another world. We have no explanations, and as a result, I, Zelda, and several friends will journey with these three into their world to get these explanations and defeat the dark king once again."

At Zant, the entire room had frozen. At the mention of Ganondorf, the Twili's anger became apparent. Their fury was almost palpable, like electricity and fire running rampant through the room. The truly were an old and powerful race, peaceful as they had become.

The councilman spoke again, anger barely controlled, struggling to maintain a semblance of decency. "Please do go, Princess. I can assure you, we will keep order here. But we would not suffer to have that foul man walk about in any world freely."

Midna bowed slightly to her council. "I thank you for understanding." She then suddenly drew a map of Hyrule of out her hammer space. She wrote several directions on it in Twili, and then handed it to the councilman. "Here is a map of Hyrule, with directions to Zelda's castle. Even as shadows, it is possible to travel across the land in their time of lesser light known as night. I have also written directions through the castle, so you can reach this vortex and follow me through if anything should happen in the Twilight Realm."

Zelda smiled at her friend's genius, and the council appeared very happy at this. The councilman took the map gladly. "Thank you, Princess. May the guardian deities of both worlds guide you to defeat the Dark Lord!"

With many smiles and exchanged words, the two princesses left the council room and departed from the Twilight Realm.

"So," Midna said, "Are we going to get Link now, so he can go kill the Skull Kid while we're in the Chamber of Sages?"

"Yeah," Zelda replied. "Now we have to go back to Hyrule Castle. I'm gonna warp this time, I know it! Whatever Ganondorf can do, we can do better!" With these inspirational words, the two princesses warped themselves the the bridge outside Castle Town.

"Yay, I did it!" Zelda said, finally warping by herself. Midna smiled and cheered for her friend, and they walked through town side by side, talking the entire time. They had just opened the door to the Castle when Link came running out a hallway yelling at Adlez, who was running behind him and gaining. "No! I don't want to prepare anymore!" he yelled.

"What's going on?" Midna asked. Adlez's head swiveled around to see the her sister and Midna return out of nowhere. A tired Link pretended to be outrageously irate, pointing a joking accusing finger at Adlez. "SHE wants me to PREPARE like there is NO TOMORROW."

"Um...?" Midna asked.

Adlez walked over to the sofa in the entrance hall, sat down, and recounted her and Link's morning. Apparently, she had dragged him to his room, which needed some cleaning, and had scoured the place for anything and everything that might be remotely useful. After about an hour of Adlez digging through Link's room, Link had had enough and made a run for it.

"Midna, can we _please_ go to the Sacred Grove now??" Link pleaded.

"Okay, okay!" Midna said. "Adlez, calm down, OK?"

"Fine," Adlez sighed. "I need to do something else now anyway. Have fun in the Grove, you three!" she said, waving at Link, Midna, and Zelda.

"Bye, Adlez," Zelda said. "Come on, let's go," she said to Midna and Link. The three walked out the front door of the Castle, leaving Adlez in the entrance hall alone.

* * *

As Link marched off with Midna and Zelda, Adlez spared a glance at the clock and received a nasty shock; she was almost late for her part-time job at the Cinema. She made sure that Zelda had gone off to see Rauru, and then sprinted to her room to change into her uniform. Five minutes later, Adlez ran out of the castle, sticking to shadows to avoid possible confrontations with people who might tell her sister about her job. She heaved a sigh of relief as she walked in the Cinema's lobby on time, and took her comfortable place behind the counter, expecting a normal workday after all. As standards went, Adlez tied her hair back into a bun and rolled up her sleeves. The day went normally for about an hour before an excited co-worker barged in holding a strange box.

"Check it out!" he practically yelled to Adlez.

"What?" Adlez asked, staring noncomprehendingly at the box.

"Look!" he said, opening the box. Four pairs of very thin, slightly concave clear circular strips were in the box. The worker picked the pair that were slightly green and pressed them to his eyes. When he looked at Adlez, she gaped in shock, for his very-blue eyes were now green!

"They're called contacts, and the doctor just invented them!" he explained as Adlez poked at the remaining three pairs curiously. "You can try some on if you want, but these preliminary designs will dissolve after about six hours of use."

After contemplating for a while, Adlez finally selected the gray pair. "I've always wondered what I would look like with gray eyes," she said as she examined herself in a tiny mirror. "Work today is going to be fun!"

* * *

Zelda walked back to Hyrule castle, her conversation with Rauru being very beneficial. Rauru had agreed to call all the Sages together and create a serious alert status. She walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the counter. It was from Adlez, asking if Zelda could get a bunch of Rupees for Link's magic armor at the end of a very long note about everything she managed to pack. Remembering Link describing Jovani and his reward for breaking the Poe curse, Zelda circled the bottom and wrote, "Link, you take care of it. I know you have the Rupees."

She hoped Link would come back soon and read it, but for now, Zelda had an entire afternoon in a peaceful castle by herself. She went down a hallway that led to the Secret Courtyard, but at an intersection she saw a distracted-looking Marth. "Hey Marth," she said.

Marth jumped about a foot in the air, turned very red, and began scratching the back of his head awkwardly. "Hey Zelda, I didn't see you...My bad...Heheh..."

"It's okay. So what's up?" Zelda asked, tilting her head slightly. She was not oblivious to his embarrassment as she appeared. Fervently, she crossed her toes. _Oh Goddesses, please please pleeeaasse let this mean he's going to ask me out!_

Zelda's mind came back to Hyrule just in time for Marth to reply, "Um, nothing much...I was wondering if you wanted to do something together...kinda like a date I guess?..." Poor Marth was very sheepish-looking by the end of his sentence.

_YEAH GO ZELDA WHOOOOO!!!_ "Sure, why not? Let's go to The Cinema."

At first, it was a little awkward, but as Marth and Zelda reached the East Castle Road, the tension had all but vanished and they were holding hands. They bought two tickets for The Romantic Movie and went to get a jumbo popcorn. Zelda thought the person popping the popcorn looked a lot like Adlez, but she had much shorter hair and gray eyes. Nonetheless, Zelda asked, "Do I know you?"

The disguised Adlez looked up from her popcorn and nearly had a heart attack. Even though she wasn't wearing anything close to pink, was currently sporting gray eyes, and had her hair tied in a bun, she knew her sister would suspect is was her. Zelda didn't like the idea of getting jobs since they were princesses already busy with royal duties, but Adlez decided that she wasn't about to go without her monthly Nintendo Power magazines. In her most convincing falsetto, Adlez attempted to wing it in an area of expertise she had no skill in: lying.

"No, but I know you, Princess Zelda," Adlez said with her best curtsy. "My name is Peach Toadstool. And since you are the Princess, you and your date can have your order for free."

"Really? Thanks!" Zelda said appreciatively, and she took her jumbo popcorn, double soda, and Marth's hand, and walked into the theater. As Adlez watched them go, she heaved a sigh of relief.

A flash of red caught her attention a moment later. The overly spy-like behavior of a certain Roy alerted Adlez to the fact that he was creeping into the theater after Marth and Zelda. Adlez frowned as the boy handed in his ticket. Zelda had told her about Roy's flirting. There was no way he would wreck Zelda's date, not on her watch! With a low mutter of "This is going to be interesting", Adlez went to change stations with the theater guard, ready to stop the redhead should he attempt anything. This would be interesting, indeed.

* * *

Marth took a the aisle seat of the seventh row, and Zelda sat on his right. About two minutes after they entered, the lights dimmed and the previews began. Since movies were fairly new, the sound quality was horrible and the screen fuzzy and black and white, but it was really cool nonetheless.

The movie started, and both Marth and Zelda really got into it. Spurred by the movie, they leaned in to drink from the soda straws at the same time. Suddenly, as they were doing so, a boy in the back yelled, "COOTIES!!!" Some people in the theater laughed, thinking he was talking about the movie. Most people grumbled, and Marth and Zelda leaned away, the moment ruined.

Later, the movie had reached a really ridiculous mushy scene, and Marth and Zelda turned to each other to laugh. However, just as they turned their heads, the same brat yelled out, "EEEEWWWW MUSHY!!!" Zelda whipped her head around to the back, glaring daggers at the rest of the theater, while Marth shook his head in exasperation.

Later, an even mushier scene came up, in which the movie couple experienced their first kiss. It was very romantic, and Marth and Zelda felt a mood coming on again. Slowly, they turned to each other, very red, and leaned in.

That's when someone, presumably the same brat as before, tossed a drink towards the couple. It landed in the aisle on Marth's left, soda spilling everywhere on the floor, but the crash had once again ruined the mood. In her seat, Zelda slowly squeezed and relaxed an angry fist, willing herself not to set the rear of the movie theater on fire.

The rest of the movie passed without incident, but of course, it ended on a high note, with romantic music and everything. Marth and Zelda weren't even trying by this point , yet the brat yelled, "FOOD FIGHT!!!"

Popcorn, nachos, soda, and screams filled the theater. Several things hit the movie screen, and many more hit other people. Marth grabbed Zelda and immediately dragged her down. They glanced at each other for a romantic moment before concentrating on intercepting any projectiles coming their way.

With a bang, the theater doors opened. It was Peach, the same employee that had served Marth and Zelda. Peach ran off to one side of the door and grabbed a shadowy figure. Marth and Zelda could make nothing of the guy but his silhouette, but he looked like he was wearing a cloak. Peach dragged the guy out by the ear, apologizing to the rest of the theater's occupants the entire time.

* * *

Adlez dragged Roy out the back door and lifted her disguise.

"Hey, you're Zelda's twin!" Roy said as he looked up.

Adlez glared back at his smile, unamused. "Yes, I am. _You _are that annoying kid from Fire Emblem, who is trying to ruin Zelda's date."

Roy frowned back at Adlez. "So?"

"_So_, _stop_, or I will burn your ass with my magic so bad there won't be anything left connecting your legs to your torso, runt."

"Hey, I'm not a runt!"

"Then how old are you, shorty?" Adlez asked with disdain.

"I'm sixteen!"

"Nineteen, shorty," Adlez said. She pointed away from the theater. "Now scram, and don't let me catch you bugging them again!"

* * *

Did Roy listen? No! When Marth and Zelda traveled to Termina to visit the Great Bay and Delfino Boardwalk, Roy followed them. Adlez, who was now at her job as a part-time lifeguard there, saw the couple and their pursuer and gritted her teeth. Roy was going to interrupt the couple on the beach! Adlez turned to the Hunky Lifeguard Squad. "If I pay you each a Silver Rupee, will you take that kid off the beach?"

The lifeguards in the squad immediately perked up and nodded.

Adlez quickly ripped a bunch of the Rupees out of her purse and handed them to the lifeguards. "Now get the annoying redhead, quickly! Before he disturbs my sister!"

With raucous war yells, the Hunky Lifeguard Squad charged Roy. Adlez hid in the sand they kicked up when Marth and Zelda turned around, but they still saw her, or at least what they could see that was not covered in sand. Zelda waved her thanks.

The couple wisely decided to go do something else before Roy could come back, and went to see a play at Pokémon Stage. Adlez began her shift as a backstage hand just as the show began. All was going smoothly through the third act, but then Adlez heard the back door open. Roy tried to creep in without being noticed, and made for a Jigglypuff costume on the floor. It was obvious he was trying to get into the play. Adlez quickly opened a one-way window from the backstage and scanned the crowd. It didn't take long for her to spot the two lovebirds. This time, she positively growled at the redhead. Thinking quickly, she used her magic to pull a soundproof curtain from the ceiling before Roy could run on. She double-checked to make sure that she wouldn't disrupt the play and yelled, "SECURITY!!!"

A security officer immediately came running, and all it took was Adlez's accusatory pointed finger for the guard to drag Roy out of the costume and boot him out the back door, locking it behind him. After thanking the guard and raising the curtain, Adlez scanned the crowd again to make sure nobody had noticed her uproar, ire rising as she ticked off the second time the redhead had tested her.

The play ended successfully, and Adlez immediately left to go to the Dream Fountain Restaurant, a very upscale foreign cuisine restaurant overlooking Great Bay. She shook her head to shake off any thoughts of Roy, and focused herself on waiting tables. A blissful half an hour passed before a certain royal duet walked in. Adlez turned around.

_OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT._ Adlez ran right to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Her hair was down, and those contacts had dissolved. A moment passed, and she walked out sporting shorter brown hair and blue eyes, ready to be a waitress-in-disguise.

* * *

The Dream Fountain Restaurant was the most upscale restaurant in Termina. Everything was extremely fancy on the inside. Since Zelda and Marth were V.I.P.'s, the manager gave them the Balcony Table, which floated around above the rest of the restaurant.

They had barely sat down when a slightly nervous-looking waitress came up to the table to take their orders. Before a word came out of her mouth, Zelda asked in confusion, "Haven't we seen you before at the Cinema in Hyrule?"

"You probably saw my sister Peach, your highness. My name is Daisy," Adlez said.

"Ah, I see...Um, I will have a Dr. Pepper, a salad, and a medium-well steak," Zelda said. Adlez wrote it down. "And you sir?" Adlez asked, turning to Marth.

Marth was having an internal freakout. What in the hell was Dr. Pepper, salad, and steak? If Marth had been in Fire Emblem, he would have asked for fresh vegetables and medium-rare beef. "Um...I'll have...a drink?"

Adlez sighed at Marth. "What _kind_ of drink, sir?"

"I guess I'll have what she's having."

Adlez wrote down Marth's order of Dr. Pepper. "And to eat?"

"Um...uh...food?"

Adlez barely managed to not roll her eyes. "I _assumed_ that sir. What _kind_ of food?"

"I guess I'll have what she's having again," Marth said.

Adlez jotted down another note and collected the menus. "I'll bring out the drinks in a minute."

As the waitress walked away, Marth turned to Zelda. "I'm sorry. I just wasn't sure if Fire Emblem had the same food as Hyrule."

"It's OK," Zelda said. "So, what's Fire Emblem like?"

"Well, there are four continents: Elibe, Magvel, Akaneia, and Tellius. Elibe is in the southwest, Akaneia in the southeast, Tellius in the northeast, Magvel in the northwest. I am Prince of Altea, in Akaneia. Ike is a mercenary of Crimea, in Tellius. Roy is from Ostia, which is a in the nation of Lycia, in Elibe. Our friends Eirika and Ephraim are twins, royalty of Renais on the continent of Magvel."

"Sounds big," Zelda said.

The waitress returned with two Dr. Peppers. "The food will be ready in fifteen minutes," she informed them.

"Thank you," Marth said. Then he turned back to Zelda as the waitress walked away. "It _is_ big. And there are several kinds of people on all the continents too. The Laguz are people who can transform into animals. They live on Tellius. Some Laguz can become dragons, and there are also Manaketes and true dragons who live on some of the other continents."

"Cool."

"Very."

"So are there any monsters?" asked Zelda.

"Monsters?"

"You know, creatures that attack stupidly."

"Oh, well, there were monsters in Magvel during their war," Marth said.

"Really? And they aren't there any more?" Zelda asked in amazement. "Wow, a world without monsters..."

"This world has monsters?" Marth asked confused.

"Well, remember the Bulbins in Castle Town? There are almost always monsters in Hyrule, but they usually don't bother people, and when they do bother people, it's usually Link."

"Wow," Marth said, "that sounds annoying."

"Link would agree with you."

Just then the waitress walked back with the two meals. As she set down the food, Marth studied it with internal chagrin._ So, salad is fresh vegetables and steak is beef_.

Zelda and Marth had a very lively conversation over the delicious lunch. Later, Zelda ordered a mocha latte and had a very funny time watching Marth taste-test it, having never had coffee before. Zelda laughed as he made a face and said it was bitter, and Zelda giggled into her drink when she said she thought it was sweet. After the coffee, they chatted and waited for their check, but their date was ruined by the entrance of Roy. He swaggered up the steps to the Balcony table and leaned on the railing, trying to flirt.

"Um, hey Roy," Marth said uncertainly.

"Hey Marth. Hey Zel." Zelda again squeezed her fist under the table. Brat!

"My name is _Zelda_," she said icily.

"Fine, Zelda. So anyway, what's going on?" Roy asked.

"Marth and I are on a _date_," Zelda said, hoping the kid would get it through his thick head and leave them alone.

No such luck. "Aw, how cute. Just like you," Roy said to Zelda with a wink.

Could he not take a hint?! Zelda and Marth looked at each other.

"Sooo..." Roy said, "have you two kissed yet?"

Was the guy really oblivious or really dumb?! "No..." Marth and Zelda said, feeling awkward.

"Well, in that case, feel free to practice on me, Zelda."

Zelda snapped; that _did_ it! She wasn't taking any more of the kid's crap! She reached over the railing and almost destroyed the Service Bell. As if waiting to be called, Daisy walked over not a second later. "May I help you?" she said, looking at Roy uncertainly.

"Yeah," Zelda nearly growled. "This _kid_ walked up uninvited, is disturbing us, and won't leave us alone!"

Daisy frowned at Roy. "Sir, I must insist that you leave. I will escort you to the door." She gave him no time to argue, as she grabbed Roy by the end of his cloak and proceeded to drag him down the steps, through the restaurant, and out the back door, ignoring his "Ow, ow, ow"s. Zelda and Marth looked at each other and laughed, remembering the Temple of Time.

Outside, Adlez shed her Daisy disguise as she threw Roy out the back door.

"How many fucking part time-jobs do you _have?!_" Roy said exasperatedly.

Adlez stared into space for a moment. Then she began ticking off fingers, a look of concentration on her face. "I'm not sure...Probably eight to ten," she said.

Roy's eyelid twitched. "You're crazy."

Adlez abruptly glared at Roy. "So says the runt who's been stalking my sister past the borders of Hyrule to disrupt her date! I believe this is the third time I've caught you trying to bug them."

"You only caught me at the cinema!" Roy said. "You have no proof!"

"Well, one, you're standing right in front of me, so that's proof enough. Two, I was on lifeguard duty at Great Bay when you tried to bug them, and I was in the shadows as a backstage hand at the amphitheater. So yes, you're busted. And you know what that means!"

Roy turned pale. "Oh no."

"Oh _hell yes_," Adlez said. Without further ado, she trapped him within a Nayru's Love and lifted him off the ground. "You and your ass will soon part ways!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

"...Did you just hear that?" Zelda asked Marth.

"Marth sighed. "It sounded like Roy screaming. Come on..."

"The two left a very generous tip on the table and left, following noise until they found...Adlez, who was torturing Roy by expanding and contracting the Nayru's Love she had trapped him in.

"Adlez, _what _are you _doing_?" Zelda asked.

Adlez turned to Zelda, looked back at her spell, and turned to her sister again. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Well, yes...but _why??_"

"You tell me! He's been following you two around all day!"

"He has?" Marth and Zelda said at the same time, looking at each other in confusion.

"Yeah." Link's voice made them all jump, including the still-hovering-in-the-air-in-a-crystal-Roy.

"A-_HA!_" Ike's yell made everyone, including Link, jump in surprise. "Finally, Adlez jumped!"

"LINK YOU BUFFOON!!" Midna shrieked as she ran up to the group, making everyone jump. "I said _wait up!_"

"_PEOPLE!!!_" Adlez yelled, making everyone else jump. "Can we _calm down!_"

"Hello!" Everyone jumped, for Zant had appeared out of thin air.

"ZANT!" Zelda screamed, making everyone, even Zant, jump. "You are _DEAD_, NOBODY _LIKES_ YOU, GO _AWAY_!!!"

"Has everyone forgotten about me?!" Roy roared from within his prison, making everyone else start, because they had forgotten about him.

"Marth!" Marth said. Nobody jumped. Everyone just looked at him. "What? Everyone else yelled." he said indignantly. Everyone started looking away from each other awkwardly.

"Alright everyone, listen up," Zelda said, restoring order. "Zant, nobody wants you here, so go away." Zant hunched over and made sobbing sounds, and promptly vanished. "Adlez, let Roy down." Adlez released Roy and let him crash into the dust. "Link, before this stupidity started, I believe you were going to say something."

"Yeah..."

"Well?"

Link cleared his throat. "Ok, so I finished packing what I could find and I escaped Adlez, and then I went with Midna to the Sacred Grove, right? Well anyway, killing the Skull Kid took much less time than I thought it would, and it wasn't half as fun as I thought it would be. Midna and I were just walking around the Castle, and then we heard Marth ask Zelda out, so Midna and I kind of had our own little date following you guys." Link looked down at the floor, scratching his head awkwardly, face burning. Midna was avoiding eye contact herself, her face a brighter teal than usual. "Anyway, so we saw Adlez kick Roy out of the Cinema, and then the afternoon became us following Adlez following Roy following you two."

There was a very awkward silence.

"Roy...was _tailing_ us?" Marth asked.

"Adlez...has _part-time jobs?_" Zelda blinked.

"You and Midna...are _dating??_" Adlez was flabbergasted.

"No one...bothered to tell me _anything_?" Ike looked very forlorn and out of the loop.

Link sighed. He pointed to everyone in turn. "Yes, yes, yes, and yes."

Marth promptly began beating Roy with Falchion.

Zelda turned to Adlez. "_Why_ do you have part time jobs?!"

"You didn't expect me to go without my monthly Nintendo Power, did you?"

Zelda rolled her eyes and threw her arms in the air in exasperated defeat. "Uhgh. Whatever. We should be going soon. The sooner we leave, the better for everyone."

* * *

So...random, funny I hope.

Um, yeah, so I think I've explained Fire Emblem now... and how "Fire Emblem" is a world...

Yeah, I don't know how old Roy is, and frankly, I don't care. Zelda, Adlez, Link, Midna, Marth, and Ike are all being 19 because I like making things I don't care about simple. Got a problem?

Oh yeah, I couldn't think of names for Disguised Adlez. So I cheated. Do you have a problem with THAT??

I can't really explain why everyone was shouting...when I wrote this it came out of the blue... Especially Zant, who was there only to make Zelda scream. He's not important to this story (or is he??? duhn duhn duhn!!! well, idk myself...). Same thing with Adlez's part-time jobs...the details came out of nowhere.

I said it before and I'll say it again: Roy is simply the butt of every single joke. I don't hate him.

You love to review, you want to hit that review button of magicalness and you know it! You love the nonsensicality of this story and you love how I'm creating words that don't exist! And let me tell you, you won't get an update for about a week (SORRY!!!) because I am going on a vacation where the Internet will not be at my disposal. Therefore, this time, I will not give you a "death threat" to review. Instead, _if you do not review, I will not update when I get back, for a long, long time!!! Bwah-ha-ha!!!_

With that said, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Next time, we will finally travel into my very messed-up version of "Fire Emblem," and watch things spiral downwards!!! Until then, see ya!


	7. Welcome to Fire Emblem

Disclaimer: I don't own LoZ/FE

Well, I'm finally back! And you can't kill me, because then you won't get anymore! Anyway, school's started, and this is my present to you, because my workload is about to crush me. So if there is an even _longer_ hiatus following this, then you know why.

Last time, completely and utter randomness took hold of the LoZ world in the form of dates and part-time jobs.

This time, we finally enter a cracked-up world of Fire Emblem. If this is the moment you've been dreading, turn back NOW! It only gets worse from here on in, if you haven't liked it so far.

Now before this preview get's any longer, ON WITH THE STUPIDITY!!!

* * *

Welcome to Fire Emblem

About one hour, five arguments, and nine breaks later, the group had finally returned to Hyrule and was standing in front of the vortex to Fire Emblem in the "secret" courtyard.

"Soo..." Roy said uncertainly. "How should we do this?" He had been reluctantly to speak, because Adlez was still trying to kill him, and no one was sticking up for him. Not talking had made him less conspicuous. However, it seemed Adlez had moved on for the moment.

"I'll go first," Adlez said, and walked into the vortex, just like that. She looked around on the inside, curious. It was almost black, but mainly nebulae purple with streaks of fluorescent blues and greens. She didn't appear to be standing on anything, but she wasn't falling either. Adlez looked ahead and saw sunlight opposite the way she had come in. _That must be Fire Emblem_.

Rustling behind her told Adlez that someone had followed. She turned around and saw Ike walking towards her. "Just making sure you weren't dead," he said, but he had a smile on his face.

Adlez pretended to choke and die falling the the "ground", making him grin more. Then she got up. "Well, I'm not dead," she said. "I'm going to check out the other opening. You get everyone." Ike nodded and walked away. Adlez stuck her head out the foreign opening.

The vortex here opened up onto the edge of a forest. Adlez noticed a man sitting against a tree with his eyes closed, sword at the ready. If clothes were anything to go by, he was a very important person. He had weird hair, a sort of minty-teal color.

"Hey, you. Bub. On the ground!" Adlez said.

Adlez watched the man open his eyes wide, jump to his feet, and ready his sword. _So he wasn't sleeping_, Adlez noted in amusement. He looked around wildly before spotting Adlez in the vortex. His confusion turned to shock. Since Roy disappeared here yesterday, he had watched the black thing, but nothing happened. This wasn't Roy...who was it?

After about three seconds of the man gaping at her wordlessly, Adlez got annoyed. It wasn't like people never appeared out of nowhere, hell Link did every day! So Adlez said rudely, "What are you looking at? I'm looking at you looking at me looking at you."

The man lowered his raised sword from ready and said, "What the fuck?" Adlez jumped out of the vortex, shortly followed by Zelda, Roy, Link, Marth, Ike, and Midna. He looked confused at the Hyruleans, but when Roy, Marth and Ike came out, his eyes widened. "Roy! Marth! And Ike, you too?"

The boys looked up at the sound of their names. "Ephraim..?" Roy asked.

"What are you guys doing here?" Ephraim said, running up to his friends. "What's going on here? And who are they?" he asked, indicating the Hyruleans.

"It's a _long_ story," Marth said.

Ephraim sat down. "Well, I'm hearing it anyway."

Everyone else followed Ephraim's lead and sat down in a circle. Roy sat between Ephraim and Link to prevent any bodily harm from Adlez. Midna sat on Link's other side, with Zelda on her right. Zelda sat next to Marth. On Marth's right was Ike. Adlez got to sit in between Ike and Ephraim, where it was impossible to destroy Roy. _On one hand, this sucks. On the other, this is AWESOME!_ Adlez thought of Roy and Ike. With that, Storytime began.

"Okay," Marth began, "Ike and I were going to travel around the world having adventures. We were about to go, and I went to get my sword. After I did, I fell through a vortex-thing, and then I landed rather painfully in the world of Hyrule. The princesses," he indicated Zelda and Adlez, "healed me, and assisted me by searching all of Hyrule for another vortex. However, as they did, Adlez, Link, and Midna were attacked by a shadow, and Ike fell through another vortex, which closed afterwards. Zelda and I were attacked by very odd monsters. The next day, another vortex opened, and from what I gather, Roy was punched through. Zelda was there at the time, though, and she, Midna, and Adlez managed to keep it open. And now here we are."

"Wow....But...you got attacked by a _shadow?_"

"It was Link's evil-shadow-alter-ego thing, which happened to be eight feet tall and insanely strong," Adlez grumbled.

Ephraim nodded in understanding. "I should properly introduce myself." He looked at the Hyruleans around the circle and said, "my name is Ephraim, prince of Renais of Magvel."

Zelda reached out to shake Ephraim's hand. "I am Zelda, Princess of Hyrule."

Adlez raised her hand for a moment. "I am Adlez, Princess of Hyrule."

Link leaned in. "I am Link, the Hero of Time."

On his right, Midna leaned in after him. "I am Midna, the Twilight Princess."

"So...you two are sisters..." Ephraim said, pointing at Adlez and Zelda, who nodded. "Hero of Time?" he asked Link.

"The bearer of the Triforce of Courage, wearer of the green tunic, and monster ass-kicker, regardless of size. Hero of Time is one of the titles I was given since I've traveled through time."

"What other titles do you have?" Ephraim asked, curious.

"A _lot_," Link said. "I've...done a lot, gone a lot of places. That's all."

"Link's so modest," Adlez said cheerfully.

"And the Twilight Princess?" Ephraim asked Midna.

"There is an alternate world connected to Hyrule called the Twilight Realm. It is where I am from," Midna said.

"What's it like?"

"The light there is always like the sunset, the land floats above and below the sky, the people there are peaceful and content, and we have magic just as powerful as Hyrule's." Midna said.

"Ephraim!"

A little girl in an orange dress bounded out of the woods. She had short dark hair and...wings. Dragon wings.

"Myrrh?" Ephraim asked, not knowing she was nearby.

"Eirika is coming, and she looks really mad!" Myrrh said. Ephraim paled. However, Myrrh wasn't done yet. "Also, the balance of the world has been distorted."

Ephraim was about to ask what she meant, and why she placed Eirika's anger in higher priority than world distortion. However, his sister chose that moment to run out of the woods, rapier raised threateningly, long mint-teal hair flying behind her wildly. She was about to yell at Ephraim for losing Roy, but then she saw Roy...and Marth, Ike, and several people she had never seen before, along with Myrrh.

"YOU TWO!" she yelled at Roy and Marth, who instantly cowered on the ground, "DON'T EVER MAKE ME WORRY LIKE THAT AGAIN!" Then, all of a sudden, she hugged them. "I was really worried when I heard of Marth disappearing, and then you too, Roy..."

"But we're back now, and we didn't go through trauma or hell!" Roy said. "In fact, you saved me from it!"

Before Eirika could ask, Ephraim said, "Eirika, these newcomers are the princesses Zelda and Adlez of Hyrule, the Twilight Princess Midna, and the Hero of Time, Link."

Eirika gave a little bow. "It's very nice to meet you all," she said, "but where are Hyrule and Twilight?"

"They are in another world," Marth said. "We landed in Hyrule, not Twilight. We actually haven't seen Twilight."

"Oh. Well," Eirika said, turning to the Hyruleans, "welcome to Magvel!"

"Hey, Ephraim," Roy said, "Would you like to go on our journey?"

"What journey?" Eirika asked.

"The one that will most likely fix the distortion of the world Myrrh claims to have happened," Ephraim said. Then he turned to Myrrh. "What happened, anyway?"

"More evil entered the world. Like Formortiis. It's huge."

"Ganondorf," Zelda groaned. At the three confused faces of Ephraim, Eirika, and Myrrh, she said, "Ganondorf Dragmire is an incredibly evil man from our world. He's the man you fought yesterday," she told Ephraim. "How he got into your world, and what he wants here, I don't know. I don't even know how he made this vortex."

"Which is a problem," Adlez said.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Link said.

Adlez mumbled something almost incoherent about stopping that.

"_Anyway_," Zelda said, "we need to stop Ganondorf from plaguing your world."

"In that case, it's time for a F.I.G. Convention," Link said.

"Um, _fig?_"

Link pulled a green whistle out of his pocket. "A Fresh In Green Convention." He lifted his left hand over his head and blew the whistle. Everyone looked at the whistle very weirdly, for the noise it made was a voice that yelled, "Calling all Links! Calling all Links!"

A golden Triforce appeared on the ground, and _Links_ came running out of it.

"Attention all Links!" Link said, and the Links immediately looked at him and sat down in a circle. "We will now refer to ourselves by our games. I will be TP," said Link. "Now listen up: Ganondorf is attacking another world, which we happen to be in right now."

The Link audience looked around in awe, going, "Holy shit," and "Really?" and "Sweet!"

After the Links calmed down, TP said, "Anyway, so what do you suggest?"

"You take care of it!" all the Links said. "You were here to begin with. And anyway, with the Triforce of Courage split into eight shards, not being there all at once will confuse Ganondorf."

"Okay then..." Link said. "If you're not coming, give me your specialty items. And your Shards."

So TP ended up getting a lot of cool items, and the reassembled Triforce of Courage, and he grinned like a child on Dinmas. All of a sudden, WW Link came up to him. He looked around at the other Hyruleans and the Fire Emblemians and said uncertainly, "Since there are a lot of you, you can take Rocky."

"Rocky?"

WW took out a green pipe-like thing and blew it. The pipe didn't make a normal noise either, and even TP was concerned for WW mental health. The pipe was a whistle, but instead of a whistle noise, WW's voice was shouting, "Rocky! Rocky!"

From the Triforce, a huge purple and yellow bird with a mask flew out, startling all the other Links and the rest of the group. It immediately began screeching and cawing and waving its four neon yellow-orange tails all over the place. WW took the Skull Hammer he had given TP and raised it in the air menacingly and yelled, "Bad Rocky! BAD ROCKY! CALM DOWN!!"

"Rocky" actually did calm down. WW began stroking the head of the Monstrous Helmaroc King, cooing to it as if trying to soothe it.

"Now Rocky," WW was saying, "Linky can't stay, but there's _another_ Linky here with everyone! Isn't that _nice?!_ They're not going to hurt you, so don't hurt or traumatize them, ok? Ok? Who's a good boy? _Who's a good boy oh yes you are!_"

TP stared at WW in disbelief. "You..._tamed_...the Helmaroc King. It's your...your _pet??_"

WW nodded. "Yeah. When I took him home from the Forsaken Fortress, Aryll got really mad and threatened to beat us with a whip."

"Gosh, I wonder why?" Adlez said sarcastically. It was obvious: Aryll hated the monster bird for abducting her.

WW did not pick up on the sarcasm. "Oh, it was because she was worried about feeding him, and about where he would sleep. But then we found out he eats Octoroks and Gyorgs, he uses the Fairy Forest as a nest, and he poops in the sea, and there weren't any problems. Aryll loves him now. It took a lot of begging and pleading and screaming and crying for her to allow me to have him, though."

TP looked as if he'd been hit over the head with the Megaton Hammer. "Spineless mental pussy," he whispered under his breath. "Oooookkkkaaaaayyyy then..."

WW got down to buisness. "Alright then. Rocky, as you know, eats Octoroks and Gyorgs, sometimes seagulls and other animals. Sometimes people that look like animals. You know, those two fake Rito at the Flight Control Center. Anyway, he eats and shits three times a day, is nocturnal on weekends, and he likes it if you hug him and talk to him, especially if he has a bad dream. And if other birds piss him off, he tries to curse them out, and the flapping and cawing gets annoying."

"Um...thanks..." TP said. Then he lifted his head and called to everyone, "Alright, the F.I.G. Convention is OVER! Links, be ready to fight at all times!"

"Sir yes sir!" the other Links said as they sprang to salute. Then they all vanished.

Another moment of silence was felt by the group, unaware that Ephraim, Eirika, and Myrrh had all gone into a state of stressed shock.

"Well, that was odd," Midna said.

"Who cares?!" Link said. "_Look_ at all this sweet shit!"

* * *

Mmm-hmmmm. So I ended it kind of randomly. Don't like? Too bad. Was it better than you thought or not?

Next time, the group will begin the journey to Akaneia, braving hurricanes, poopbags, and giant squid.

If you do not review, you will be forced to watch Ganondorf try to compete in a beauty contest.


End file.
